What is in a name?

Last week’s blog was quite a biological one. We all now know the ‘proper’ names for the bits within our bits but how many of us call our bits by their actual names? I don’t think I’ve ever called my vulva my vulva . I may use ‘labia’ from time to time but often find it easier to say ‘lips’ instead.

How many names to you have for your vagina? For me it depends who I am with and what mood I am in. I think my top 5 are fanny, cunny, foof, pussy and vag. Sarah Waters tends to use the word ‘cunny’ in her novels quite a lot and I think it’s quite cute and endearing! My choice of words to describe this area is surely going to expand, considering what I am now doing for a living, especially so I can make sure I fit the right ‘name’ for the right audience! From writing my blogs, I have realised I prefer to use the words ‘bits’ ‘nethers’ and ‘lady garden’.

At my soirees I ask everyone to share with the group their favourite or preferred word which not only breaks the ice but gives me an idea of women’s opinions on their genitals. A few years ago I remember having a random game of ‘let’s go through the alphabet and think of a name for the fanny in every letter’ with friends and it was surprisingly hard! There are loads of words for the fanny but to actually get them to start with different letters is something else! The one we got the most stuck on was  the letter R. I decided to make one up….Ribeye. ‘Lol’. It was quite a funny one but quite disgusting at the same time!

So I want to discover – what do you all call your foofs? And a slightly different question, what do you call them if you refer to them in general rather than just your own? Do you find it hard to call it anything? I reckon it can also be affected by who your partner is too – I know the names for mine has changed with the partners I have had!

I used to work in a call centre and once and a colleague and I started discussing it and found the word ‘flange’ a funny one – it’s one of those words that belongs to something completely different (google it…I can’t help but giggle when reading wikipedia’s explanation, it’s saying ‘flange’ whilst talking about pipes and wheels…but it’s still flange!) We became very bold and continued to discuss the genuine meaning of the word ‘flange’ (http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/flange) and ended up getting a telling off from our supervisor…but we were like ‘flange is a real word, we were talking about how we can use flanges and how often we use a flange’ but she wouldn’t have any of it…how the hell did the word ‘flange’ end up being a nickname for the vag?! Oh and another colleague there had the realisation that day that he had been saying the word ‘frangipane’ wrong and had been calling it ‘flangipane’.

If you have watched a live performance of the Vagina Monologues I am sure you can all remember that moment where the three actresses on the stage get the whole audience to shout the word ‘cunt’ together, and shout it proudly and take ownership of it – I loved that! We should absolutely take ownership of it! It is nowadays used more often to describe a bad person but it’s origins are often debated – read http://cherishthecunt.com/2013/02/10/origins-of-the-word-cunt/ for a bit more enlightenment.

A few women at the soirees tell me they often use the word cunt. I go through phases. I tend not to nowadays apart from when it comes out in my road rage (sorry for using it the wrong, unliberated way). I was brought up though, to never use that word. I am sure my mamma is quite disgusted by this part of the blog!

So let’s discuss – what are our favourite names for our nethers? My best man friend calls it a growler. He’s gay. I heard one last weekend by one of the soiree attendees that I hadn’t heard before – noonie – which could be used in Welsh too I suppose, ‘nwni’! I thought I knew them all but obviously not! I’d love to see if there are more I don’t know of…

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