L Fest 2016 – Where you there? Part 4

Now we’re on Sunday!

Because our darling puppy Ollie charmed almost everybody at the festival, we were encouraged to enter the dog show at 10.30am, so we did! It turns out that a 3 month old puppy can’t do much to win the affections of a dog show judge. He couldn’t do any tricks (although by now he can) and he didn’t even win the ‘dog the judge would like to take home’ (although most of the people around us would have chosen Ollie!) so now we know what happens in the competition, we’re ready for next year! (‘Stage Moms’)

We missed a ‘Positive Mindset’ session, for that, which was a pity – good way to start the day off, great programming! My friend Caitlin who was also in charge of L Fest Social Media went to it and love it,

We decided to try a bit of Line Dancing after this, which was in the Dance Room in the Grandstand. Lara A King was hosting it – she was everywhere this weekend, performing, compering and speaking, I swear that she had one of those time changing necklace things that Hermione off Harry Potter had. Lara did make it clear that she was not a Line Dancing Instructor, so we had to bear that in mind. It was all over the place, though, and we left early!

We missed the beginning of another thing – ‘Effective Communication (How to communicate with Deaf People)’ but realised that we are quite good at that because of the line of work my wife works in, as well as my part time job a little bit, so we weren’t too gutted about that. I believe that it helped out the mutual friends a couple of yurts down from us who go to a knitting group in their local town and have a friend there who is hard of hearing.

We finally managed to catch some sketch comedy – Toots and Leigh. I know Kerry Leigh as a comedian and the host of Laughing Cows  (Back in my ‘stand up comedy days’ I performed alongside her a few times) This was fun but it was evident that it was new material. The Green Tent was a great place to test it out though and everybody had a fun time watching it :-)

We actually got around to having a proper look at all the stalls this afternoon too. Oh, the weather was lush, maybe a bit too lush actually, I got a little bit red!
There were some great stalls about though. There was the fabulous Kinky Monkey who make all kinda things outta leather – I sell their strap on harnesses.
There were some great clothing stalls too. I am currently at my fattest I’ve ever been, so didn’t have confidence that I would fit into anything. I loved Gender Free World – a website I had actually been on a week previous. They design clothes, especially shirts for all shapes and sizes, which is great for women who want to wear shirts. It was great that I got to try some shirts on to find out my size. It turns out that I need to lose some weight to fit into their bigger size though. The owner wasn’t there but the person who served me was so lovely and despite the shirt not fitting, she made me feel lovely and told me I was beautiful the way I was! She also said that she would feedback to the owner about making bigger sizes. It motivated me that bit more to get back to healthy eating! There was another one that sold their own designs on general t-shirts and caps. Unfortunately I have forgotten what they were called but it was sailor based. Not my kind of thing but I saw some people looking great in their clothing.

The Slamsisters were there – they are THE place to get lesbian-focussed greeting cards from, and coasters and mugs and tops and bags and pants! They may still have some calendars left too which are selling for £3 rather than £7.95.

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Honeypot gifts were there too selling handmade jewellery and their gorgeous rainbow corsages and buttonholes too. I swear I took a couple of pics of them but I can’t find any on my phone. Here is Ollie modelling one of their gifts though!20160716_123955

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One more stall I want to tell you about is FOCX – they make unisex boxers. I haven’t worn boxers for ages because of my womanly hips but now I’ve come out of my femme phase and am getting butcher again, I had a look around here. The owner was there, Emma Airey. She designs them, so it was great to be able to chat with her! I was concerned about whether they would fit me and she was confident that they would, and they did! I am a size 24 at the mo but the size 22s fit! They’re made of good stretchy material and have a proper gusset too. The biggest size was a 24 so I am very happy with this! They were quite expensive for a pair of pants (£19.99) but I can see why – very good quality, handmade (by Beryl!) and definitely worth it. They had a nice deal going on too.

Being a lesbian business owner, I really enjoyed exploring the different stalls and chatting with other lesbian business owners. It’s a good little club to be a part of! It is important to support your lesbian-owned businesses when you can.

Our next activity was ‘Signed, Sealed Delivered’ which was learning how to sign along to a song with Stacey Stockwell, who was signing all of the performances that weekend. This was a fab experience and my god, Stacey is so cool and funny and made both me and my wife a bit weak at the knees! (actually I said something to her to that affect and embarrassed myself a bit) We learned to sign along to ‘Don’t Stop Believing’. For some reason, the sound system was unable to broadcast the lyrics, just the melody. It didn’t take away from the session at all, though, and I found it a bit poginant that we couldnt ‘hear’ the words. I am happy to say that I still remember how sign to the song, and Stacey has left an impression on me. She and her business owner own Beans Training which is disability awareness training. She gave us a great discount for the online BSL training too, which we are going to take them up on.

After that we popped Ollie back into the yurt for a bit and listened to Heather Peace from afar. We made it back to the big top before she’d finished so got to see her live for a bit.

My favourite part of the festival was the Laughing Cows comedy night – what a way to end the weekend! I can see why they programme it for when they do. Kerry Leigh was compering and was on top form! The comics on the stage that evening were Debra Jane Appleby, Allyson June Smith with Jen Brister headlining. They all had me in STITCHES! Bloody amazing, each and every one of them! If any of these fabulous comics are performing in your locality, you need to see them. My god I love women and I love comedy! Debra and Allyson weren’t queer identified but this didn’t matter in the slightest. No thing was made of it and we enjoyed them for the funny women they were. Jen did a bit of a poll of the age of the audience and asked who was born in the 90’s, 80’s, 70’s, 60’s and 50’s and there were some decent ‘yays’ for most of them! If I remember correctly, there was even a solo yay from somebody born in the 40’s! This just goes to show the different kind of women this festival attracts – all ages and all backgrounds!

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Kerry Leigh Compering

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Debra Jane Appleby was first on

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Allyson Smith was second on

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Jen Brister talking about being a new mum

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This was such a weekend and I implore anybody who has been uhming and ahhing about going to L Fest, you really need to go! You won’t regret it! If you don’t like camping, book a hotel room nearby. There really is something for everybody. One of my favourite things was the fact that when we sat down somewhere, we could strike up a conversation with absolutely anybody, and that is special.

Well done Cindy Edwards and her L Fest Crew for a fabulous weekend, and for booking me in to talk about sex!

L Fest 2016 – were you there? Part 3

The start of Saturday was fab. Apart from the queues at the shower delaying the beginning of the day, we got off to a good start.

We started in the Big Top/Main Stage at 10.30am to do an African Drumming workshop. We both love drumming and don’t do it enough! That was loads of fun!

The rest of the morning was a bit annoying. I introduced myself to the Stage Manager of the Arts Stage ahead of my 2.30pm talk. Because I was using a powerpoint presentation, they needed me back at 12.30pm to make sure that it was all working. Because of this, the morning ended up finishing a bit bitty. We popped over to the new Waitrose in Uttoxeter (not because we’re made of money, it’s because we couldn’t find Asda!) to pick up a few things we had forgotten to bring. Amateurs! We then went back to do the tech check, made some lunch, then I needed to get ready (put some decent clothes and make up on!)

The talk was fun. It is a mixture of education and fun facts and is something I now hope to develop further and possibly turn into a one woman show. I had a decent audience. I love to be on stage and talk publicly, so this wasn’t a problem. I was nervous, though, because I haven’t talked at such length all in one go about lady bits. I have written a lot about it and have done short talks on it, but this was longer. The projector screen wasn’t ideal. It was quite small and was hidden a bit by a lectern thingy which couldn’t be moved. As it was daylight, the images themselves were a bit faint, so I learned from that and next time there will be handouts! Having a background in stand up comedy, I realised later that my comedian muscle memory had come back, and I thought that it hadn’t gone too well because I didn’t ‘get many laughs’….I wasn’t after laughs! I was there to educate! Considering it was an educational laugh, I did get quite a few laughs actually,  in the right places!

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It was such a pleasure for some women to approach me afterwards and ask a few more questions and also give me food for thought. There were some trans women at the talk who also told me that they learned a lot, so this was very special to be able to do that.

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After the talk, we had an early tea and chatted with a few people/friends then we got ready for the sex toy soiree. At my sex toy soirees, I have toys available to buy whilst I am there, so we had half an hour in-between the last act and us to set everything up, including a couple of tables to show some products off on. Thank god for the wife, otherwise I never would have been able to do it on my own!

The soiree was a lot of fun. It is something I do regularly, but usually in the front room of my customers’, so this was the biggest crowd I have ‘performed’ a soiree to! There’s something special about doing a soiree for a queer female audience. ‘my people’! I had a couple of people volunteer themselves to model some strap-ons for me too! I usually pass the toys around for people to look at but there were too many people for this. Unfortunately I lost one little toy that day, which is a pity, but a hazard of the job I spose.

The soiree went on for longer than the hour it was scheduled for, but luckily I was the last one there for the night in the Green Tent, so I went on a bit longer. Mind you, it was a whistlestop tour of the toys! We were near the main tent and we heard Saffron from Republica singing so that was fun! There were lots of questions afterwards (I love questions!) and some people had some fun to have in their tent that evening!

After that, we packed back up and got ready for the evening. We had some of those gin and tonic cans and I drank three of those quite quickly (Wifey finished her first one by that point. and seemed hellbent on getting drunk that night) I had a warm beer from the car, yum, and we could hear the main tent from where we were, so we heard Amy Winehouse perform. Well, an impersonator who did a bloody great job! It’s a pity we didn’t get there to see her but it was good that we heard her at least.

Eva Iglesias was on the stage when we got there. Wifey loved it! I thought she was good but the crowd were going wild for her! Eva has been on allll the shows and has got far on them – X Factor, Britain’s got Talent and The Voice! Her time on stage was fun and you could tell that she was absolutely loving it, in a good way! She seemed quite humbled by it all :-)

The Amy Winehouse impersonator was Vicky Jackson, and she came back on after Eva again as P!nk – OH YEAH!! She was brilliant and it really felt like P!nk was there. It was awesome! Something else quite funny was that at one point, as P!nk she said ‘Did you all enjoy Amy Winehouse? You wanna know something weird – that was me! Weird huh!’ ‘lol’

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I’ve just popped on her website and she also does Katy Perry, Jessie J and Lady Gaga. What a talent!…. and I’ve just spent 20 minutes watching her stuff on YouTube! She has done some vocals for Duplex – A Drum & Bass DJ/DJ’s? I’m in heaven! <stop obsessing, stop obsessing>

Ironically, we were knackered after that and bumped into a couple of friends and after that we went to sleep. Boring. But knackered. We didn’t drink anymore because the drinks cost a lot of money. I think I had a half hour of tipsiness then it went away!

I’ll tell you how Sunday went in my next post.

L Fest 2016 – were you there? Part 2

So yes! We got to Uttoxeter early Friday evening – much later than we thought, but that’s what comes of living with my wife and me not communicating my thoughts properly!

The first event (the welcome talk from Cindy!) didn’t start until 8.30pm anyway, so we didn’t miss out on anything. I get terrible FOMO.

L Fest had released an app this year with the timetable of everything that was going on over the weekend, a map, their twitter timeline, a list of performers/talks/workshops in alphabetical order, and you had the chance to tick the bits you wanted to go to, then the ‘My L Fest’ bit would show you your timetable based on what you had ticked. You could also create some L Fest ‘postcards’ with pics that you had taken and any pics you took on your camera that weekend would be automatically put in your timeline on the ‘My L Fest’ bit! It was a very nifty piece of tech. I believe it was the first time they have presented an app and it was very cool. My main bugbear was that they did the timetable by day and then by venue. It would have been nice to have just seen a list of events in order of time. If it was 3pm and you wanted to see what was going on, you would need to click into each venue to see what was on, and I found this a bit confusing and time consuming. I am sure that they are aware of this feedback though, and I hope that maybe they can work towards changing that for next year. To be fair, they did also provide printed out timetables from the Saturday. All in all, though, it was a great app and allowed all of the artists, including me, to promote themselves with a biog and links to their twitter account and website. Very helpful.

Here is an example of a postcard:

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When you create one, you can share it, but it only shares it as a link. I think it would be nice to be able to download the pic :-) I have shared a screenshot. You can keep generating a new one until you have one that you like.

Actually, the first event was at 7pm and it was the solos meet up – a fabulous service to provide. L Fest is really good at making single attendees feel included, and provide them with an opportunity to meet other solos as soon as possible on the Friday, which then helps them settle in for the rest of the weekend and make new friends (or more!)

So, here is a list of the venues:

Main Stage
Green Stage Tent/Truck
Arts Stage
L Fest Dance
Creative Arena
Kids Area
Cinema
The Retreat
Fire Pit

Funnily enough, the main stage is where all the big acts took place, like Saffron from Republica, Heather Peace, a lot of music acts throughout the day and the comedy night at the end of the weekend.

The Green Stage/Truck was a bit more cabaret stylee (to be used in the lightest sense of the word) with more music and some comedy. The truck and stage were different venues but basically, it was more about the weather. If it was sunny, the act could perform outside on the Truck Stage. If it was raining, they could perform inside the tent. It was mostly down to the artist to choose between the two. They also had a silent disco every night!

The Arts Stage is where a lot of talks/workshops were held and some spoken word events. The more ‘educational’ and calm part of the festival!

L Fest Dance…guess what…a lot of dance happened there! This was a big room based in the Grandstand of the racecourse. During the day it was various dance classes and at night it was DJ stylee.

The Creative Arena is cool. Its a whole circle of different tents, some of them offer little art workshops. My wife made a dreamcatcher last year but didn’t get the chance to do anything this year. There are also a few stalls about but it’s a big area, this bit.

Kids Area – L Fest  are family inclusive too and make sure that there are some activities for children too. This tended to take place within the Creative Arena.

The cinema showed some fab queer and female-based films all weekend, and was in another part of the grandstand. I really wanted to watch a couple of things but the timings didn’t work this time for me, unfortunately.

The Retreat was in a building next to the grandstand and this is where you could get some beauty treatments or some massage. We intended to go in there and treat ourselves but we didn’t get around to it!

The Fire Pit was based in the campsite and was a place to hang out and wind down. We went there on our first night and it was lovely and chilled and a lovely person gave us each a massive marshmallow and a skewer each to toast it – thank you! It was quite quiet when we went there, but that was nice. The fire itself was modest. Maybe the word ‘pit’ made it sound more epic, but it was still lovely!

On our first night we just did a lot of wandering around and sitting down! We attended the welcome talk, we checked out the eating area. There were some great eaty places. The crepe van was ‘very lesbian’, she did some great crepe fillings which I’m sure a lot of the festival goers would have really appreciated! We had one with Biscoff spread, banana and cinammon – YUM! (My wife invented the combo!) There was also a fish finger sandwich van, a veggie food only van, some freshly cooked thai food, and there was more. It definitely wasn’t like the usual food vans at a festival. They were all small companies and seemed to be mostly lesbian/queer owned too. Nice one!

After popping our heads in to various bits and bobs and finishing our marshmallow at the fire pit, we went to sleep. We didn’t drink or party. I suppose for me, I had an important day ahead of me and my wife was being lovely and supportive!

 

L Fest 2016 – were you there? Part 1

Who here remembers my blog post that I wrote about L Fest last year? I visited it for a day and loved it! I wrote a post advising all LBQ women and their friends to go, and if you didn’t, I am going to write up how it went this year. I went there for the whole weekend with my wife and it was a mixture of business and pleasure this time.

The main reason we went last year was to see whether I wanted to trade there. The problem was that there were so many fun things going on that I didn’t want to be tied to a stall all weekend but it was the perfect place for me to bring my business to! As I am trying to move my business model away from retail and more into public speaking and education, Cindy – the organiser – agreed that I could have a couple of speaking gigs instead. Perfect!

I was to do ‘Sex Geek Natter with Rhiannon Kemp-Davies’ at 2.30pm on the Saturday in the Arts Stage and have a good ol’ queer sex toy soiree later on at 6pm in the Green Tent.

In our 5 years together, my wife and I have never been camping together. We have both done it a lot in the past, but we agreed that as we didn’t have any camping equipment, we were going to try out ‘glamping’ and we hired a Green Yurt. This was something that we splashed out on. As I am a small owner  of a new-ish business, I haven’t yet made enough money for me to take out of the business yet, so my budget has been terribly tight for 2 years. I couldn’t quite afford a European weekend getaway so we agreed to camp in luxury with a yurt instead. This was our summer holiday! Our review of the yurt was that it wasn’t as good as what we hoped for. Yes, we had our own power supply, yes we had a lockable door and yes, we could stand up in the tent! We also paid for Green Yurts to provide bedding and air mattresses. It ended up being quite a difficult tent to sleep in. We opted for 2 single air mattresses instead of a double because of our size! There was barely any room for us to move around, and trying to navigate a tent whilst rolling around on 2 air beds wasn’t fun! We got ourselves a puppy maybe a month prior to coming and brought him with us (important to socialise the pup at an early age!) and there was just about enough room for his small crate. There was also a big flappy thing at the top of the tent, which was part of the structure and kept the tent from blowing it away, but it made a lot of noise when it was windy, so as it is Uttoxeter Racecourse, we had the flapping pretty much constantly. We made do, though, and didn’t complain about it. We got on with our weekend, but we left at 11.30pm on the final night so that we could get home and sleep in our normal beds. The Green Yurt guys were lovely, but the price they charged (£490) wasn’t appropriate in our opinions. They used solar power energy, though, which we liked! There were different sizes – we were in the smallest one. We could have upgraded and got a slightly bigger one with proper camping beds. There were also bell tents, but goodness knows how much thy were. We are already chatting with some friends who are more serious about coming next year and whether sharing a big bell tent would be cost effective. There is no doubt that we are going to want to come every year but need to figure out if we should invest in some camping equipment (although the car was jam packed because of the stock I brought) or pay for a dog friendly B&B in Uttoxeter…or share a big bell tent with friends! Can you hire a winnebago?!

What was good about being on the campsite, though, was the sense of community and camaraderie. All those who had forked out for a yurt or a bell tent were in one part of the racecourse and because of another part being waterlogged, everyone else who was camping had to move up a field, so our little yurt community must have looked like right jammy bastards! There are 2 sets of showers placed in the racecourse, I think there were 5 showers in each set. On the first morning, one of the sets had broken, so the queues were a bit sickening, BUT at least there was at least one set of showers to go to still! Obviously most of us wanted to shower at around the same time so there will always be queues, but it is a chance to chat with people, which adds to that sense of community. We got on with all of our yurt neighbours a lot, and funnily enough, 2 doors down, was another couple from Cardiff who we had met a couple of times before because we have a couple of mutual friends!

Oh, something I want to add is that when you buy your ticket for the weekend, camping is included. We obviously paid extra for the yurt. A LOT extra!

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Ooh, I tell you what is also nice. Almost every person there loves dogs! We noticed how many dogs there were last year so were looking forward to being one of those with a dog! Our yurt neighbours all loved him and kept him entertained and covered in love, and it took us ages to walk to anywhere because so many people wanted to stop and say hello to him! It was very flattering and it was lovely to see him get so much attention…but my gosh it was difficult to get anywhere on time! There was one girl who screamed in his face because she found him that adorable! They also have Doggy Day Care, which is a fab service to have as part of the ticket price. Sometimes we would leave Ollie in the tent in his crate for a bit to chill, sometimes he would be with us and sometimes he was in doggy day care. Many people we met said that we should take him to the dog show on Sunday morning too – he is very cute! Here is a pic of him at my talk!

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Ok, so this post is a bit more of a preamble, but a good way to communicate the feel of the festival and also give you an idea of the yurts! The second post will be about the rest of our first day and what L Fest has to offer.

This is honestly the most amazing toy in the world!!!

I have worked hard over the last couple of years to not involve my own sex life in my job, which has been quite difficult but the correct way to do things. I do promote openness and encourage people to share their masturbation stories, but I have found it quite important to facilitate these discussions whilst remaining professional…but this needs to go on pause for this blog entry because I HAVE JUST HAD THE MOST AMAZING ORGASMS EVER and I need to tell you all about it!

There is a new toy out and I’ve bought some stock along with one for myself and I’m SO GLAD I DID! If you don’t want to know the details of what this toy did to me, just skip the next small paragraph

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Before I tell you about it, I just want to tell you what it did to me. I had multiple orgasms within minutes and ejaculated. I don’t ejaculate much so this was quite special!

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It is called the Satisfyer Pro 2 and has completely new technology in it that does something totally different to your clitoris.

Here is how it works:

It doesn’t vibrate, it instead has a little suction function on it, where it sends waves back and forth and these suck ever so lightly on your clitoris. You simply place the nozzle on your clit and hold it there. The nozzle will send these waves onto you and… oh my god… it will have the most amazing effect on you.

The feeling may be quite intense for some of you, depending how sensitive you are and where on your clit you place it, but seriously, if you had it on your clit, you would want to leave it there to see where it went.

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There is a toy out that is a bit similar and this came out last year, it’s called The Womanizer. That will then explain why this toy is called the Satisfyer Pro ‘2’. At around the same time, both companies were producing their toys and there was a clash of interest, so the company that made the Satisfyer Pro went back and invented a new version of the toy, patentented it and created, what I consider to be, a better version. The Womanizer has been out for a while and the reviews have been mixed. I was interested in selling them but the manufacturers made it difficult for me to get hold of any stock, but the Satisfyer Pro 2 people were more than happy to give me some stock! The main difference between the two items is that the Satisfyer Pro 2 has two different chambers (rather than the one) which enables the air to be transferred from one to the other, which is what makes the air that comes out of the nozzle feel good. It also has more functions – 11 to be exact. On top of that, it is waterproof and isn’t as noisy. When you turn it on it will be noisy BUT as soon as it’s on your clit, the noise will pretty much disappear. It also has a better name, costs less, is easier to clean and looks better!

With regards to cleaning it, you simply take the silicone nozzle off, and can clean that separately if you wish (either with some sex toy cleaner or you can pop it into a pan of boiling water to sterilize it) then you can clean the main bit with toy cleaner and warm water.

I am yet to try it in water but I can’t wait. The way the technology works means that the water will create waves that are even more intense than the feeling it gives outside of the water. Bring it on!

I can’t recommend this toy enough – this is now my favourite, it has knocked the rest of the toys out of the water. I have one piece of advice for when you use it for the first time – put a towel underneath you! Oh, and on the note of ejaculation, if you aren’t used to ejaculation, have a wee before you start your session, because when/if you do get that feeling that you’re going to wee (which is often how it can feel) you will know that it is NOT wee, as you just had one, and this will allow you to come with no fear.

 

So what are you waiting for! Go Go Go!! 

A new Cafe Bookshop is in town!

I wanted to share with you an exciting addition to the Cardiff scene, and it comes in the form of a bookshop-come-cafe bar!

If you are in Cardiff Bay, you will now find Octavo’s Book Cafe and Wine Bar on West Bute Street.

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It is owned by the publishers Octavo, who have offices above the cafe. They are providing a space in which you can browse the books that they publish and buy some food, cake, an alcoholic or non-alcoholic drink then you can sit down and chill out in the book area or their cafe area.

What has excited me most about it is that they have a section of erotica writing, hoorahhh!

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Octavo is a division of Accent Press, and by coincidence, they have also recently merged with Onion Custard Publishing, who published the I AM WOMAN book that I wrote a chapter for! (you can buy that here)

So although Octavo is a new company, Accent Press has 14 years in the industry along with Onion Custard. What makes this company really special to me, is that Xcite books is a part of Accent Press, which is an erotica publisher that has won multiple awards for the work they have done. They display their books proudly (although not in a way that people would find offensive!) in the shop and make no judgement of the people who buy them – like me, they believe that sex should be talked about more, and without shame.

The bookshop provides books for everybody. The erotica fiction is only one part of the huge array of books they have, which includes some great Cardiff-based books and lovely greetings cards. They also have a children’s book section along with a little tent for them to play in!

It was their grand opening yesterday. I got there at 4.30pm and they were recovering from the busy-ness of the day. They had a reading by Katie Fforde who was their writer in residence for the day, and they were absolutely packed, what a successful day!

I was able to have a chat with the Event Co-Ordinator, Emily (they are planning on having a lot of events at the venue with various authors, speakers and musicians, which sound great)  and we now have something in the diary for a talk by myself, I can’t wait to share the details with you!

Hazel Cushion was there too, the founder and Managing Director of Accent Press, working behind the bar with the other workers. I met her a couple of years ago (pretty much to the day, weirdly!) to chat more about the Xcite end of the company. She is such a fabulous woman – so down to earth and so good at juggling the various aspects of the company and it’s divisions.

I want to encourage you all to pop in there when you are next in the Bay, like their Facebook page and check out the events they are organising. I have a feeling that they are going to have something for everyone. Whether you are a bookworm, a wine conoisseur, a coffee fan, have children, or like the sound of gourmet chips, you should pop in.

Here are some more pics I took:

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My first post that has nothing to do with sex..

It’s about rugby!

There’s a new women’s rugby team in Cardiff that I have just joined and we are still recruiting! This is an opportunity to literally represent your country too! Not only is this my first post that doesn’t have anything to do with sex but I am going to switch languages in a second which makes it my first post in Welsh! We are a Welsh speaking team which is why writing about it in Welsh only makes sense.

Reit! Mae’r tim wedi cael ei sefydlu achos mae’r Golden Oldie’s Rugby Festival yn cymryd le yng Nghaerdydd eleni, felly mae’n rheswm dda iawn i unrhyw un sydd wastad wedi eisiau trio chwarae rygbi neu wedi chwarae rygbi yn gorffennol a sydd eisiau ail-ddechrau.

Chwaraeais i i fy nhim prifysgol dros 10 mlynedd yn ol. Wnes i drio chwarae nol fan hyn yng Nghaerdydd ond roedd y tim gyntaf ymunais a yn 2005 bach yn rhy ‘hawdd’ wedyn yr un nesaf ymunais a yn 2011 yn rhy annodd! Felly ymunais a’r tim ‘ma 2 wythnos yn ol ar ol glywed am y tim ar Facebook oddi wrth ffrind fy ngwraig.

Rydyn  ni yn ddigon lwcus i gael Caryl James i hyfforddi ni – 29 caps mae hi wedi chwarae i Gymru a dwi’n caru’r ffordd mae hi’n hyfforddi, mae’n teimlo fel mae’r tim yn barod wedi dysgu lot oddi wrthi, a dim ond 4 sesiwn sy’ wedi bod hyd yn hyn. Mae ganddyn ni lot o botential a mae Caryl yn blydi lyfli!

Felly, fe fyddech chi’n cael croeso cynnes a chofiwch – os nad ydych erioed wedi chwarae o flaen, paid a phoeni! Dwi’n eitha ‘unfit’ ond dwi dal yn mynd. Os hoffech chi ddod i’r ymarfer nesaf, cysylltwch a fi a byddai’n hapus i gwrdd a chi a wedyn cyflwyno ti i’r tim.

Mae’r ymarfer pob nos Fercher o 6.30ish tan 7.30ish a falle diod ar ol o bryd i bryd. Mae’n ddigwydd yng Nghaeau Llandaf yn agos i Gerddi Sofia. Parciwch lan ger Cafe Castan.

Mae’r twrnament o’r 21in i’r 28in o Awst – bydden ni’n chwarae Dydd Llun, Mercher a Gwener! Hwn yw’r quote o wefan y twrnament sy’n swmio lan ysbryd y twrnament:

“Golden Oldies Rugby is your opportunity to show all those skills you acquired in younger days while still enjoying your favourite sport. This is not uncompromising competition but rather the means of cementing friendships and enjoying the company of some of life’s most unforgettable characters on and off the field.”

Cymdeithas!!

rygbi

The best positions if your body has limited mobility

I was contacted recently by a graphic design company, Ghergich, who  designed a graphic for  X’s and O’s  which is a Sexual Wellness Resource Centre for Adults over 50.

They saw that I had a section to the website that discussed being older and remaining sexually active and they asked if I would be willing to share the graphic on my website, so I have done! I wanted to share it in a blog post too.

I love that there is an organisation out there that people over 50 can go to when it comes to sex advice. I get occasional customers that find it important to understand how accessible the toys that I sell are to their arthritic hands or their sight difficulties, etc. Things like these ailments are enough to put a person off having sex (with somebody else or just with themselves)

Showing people who are feeling a tad infirm how they can have sex and be good to their bodies is very important. After all, you may have an infirm body at the age of 55 and can still live on for decades – don’t stop having sex because you don’t think your body can take it. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – sex can help you live longer. It keeps your heart healthy and your mood happy and your relationships more connected.

Without further ado, here is the graphic. If you are not this old yet, think about passing it onto your parents or grandparents. Yes it is a bold thing to do, but any sex positive person reading this will know I’m right! Make sure that you always have plenty of lube on you too.

This is also a good opportunity for us to have a look at what will happen to our bodies when we do get older, so this is definitely an education for us all!

 

The Best Sexual Positions for People with Limited Mobility

How the Planet London Awards went

Hey loves,

This weekend just gone was the Planet Awards, for which I was shortlisted in the LBQ Business category. I was up against Pink Lobster Dating, Square Peg Media, Pretty Pink Pearl, Barberette and my old bosses, Sh! Womenstore.

The awards were held at the Catford Broadway Theatre in London, a gorgeous Victorian Theatre. It was round the corner from the house of a good friend of mine so I thought ‘may as well make a weekend of it’ It was my birthday the day afterwards too, so I decided to stay in London a bit longer to celebrate it there.

The awards started at 3pm. I decided to wear a dress for the occasion! My wife came along with me, we were later joined by my friend who’s house we were staying at, and upon arrival we spotted our friends Slamsisters who had made a special journey from Cheltenham to be there just to be a part of the awards. Not long after that, we spotted Alicia Eyo  – Denny from Bad Girls and apparently she was in Emmerdale too? We also spotted Sarah Waters! She had been nominated for a couple of awards. I was really impressed that such a star still stays in touch with her queer roots – and she did indeed tell us how winning a Planet Award which was mainly voted for by the queer community meant so much more to her. I even got to chat with her too, for proper – she asked me about my business and didn’t try to shoo me away…I ended up shoo-ing myself away!

The new and first ever LGBT Poet Laureate Trudy Howson was there hosting the awards, and we heard some of her (naughtier) poems at the after party later that night!

I didn’t think I was going to win but every time somebody won an award and gave a speech, I would daydream about what I would say! They had been giving honourable mentions here and there to nominees who hadn’t won but they feel deserved recognition, and that is exactly what I got. I was presented with a certificate and had an opportunity to give a little speech. I could have said loads and could have promoted myself but no, I got there and said something about being a small business from Cardiff and mumbled a couple of thank yous and left…confident Rhiannon had disappeared for 60 seconds! The winners were Sh! Womenstore and I was genuinely happy for them :-)

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There was plenty of time to network afterwards though and despite that, I still didn’t get to talk with all of the women I wanted to. I got the opportunity to speak with performer Helen Oakleigh who had written a poem on Gay Pride (I had tweeted about it but my autocorrect decided to call is ‘Gaydon Pride’!) and she performed it for the first time on Sunday. It was bloody great! When we chatted, we remembered each other from the ‘Gingerbeer days’ – an online forum for LBQ woman in London which I joined in 2006 when I moved to London and to make new friends. I made loads of new friends through Gingerbeer and recognised Helen from a few social events from ‘back in the day’ and we have many mutual friends.

I chatted with a lot of lovely people and was lucky enough to have Carrie hang out with me and my wife and friend for a while. Carrie is one of the editors for Diva Magazine, and despite me having written for them since November, I haven’t got to meet any of them yet – ah the joys of technology. It was good to chat with her for a while and put a face to a name.

I also bumped into Caitlin Maggs, somebody I used to work with back in Cardiff in 2011-13 who was a bit of a shy one back then and once drunkenly whispered to me that she was bi but is now all loud and proud and living in London, yay her! She is a freelance writer, you should check her stuff out and hire her – http://caitlinmaggs.blogspot.co.uk/ She was the one assisting with the social media around the Planet Awards.

It felt great to be a part of the Planet London community. It is great to have them there online but when you are in it in real life, it is amazing. I feel blessed to have a good relationship with them, I love that I can write sexual health content for them but my god – being around that many LBQ women on Sunday has made me mourn the lack of this scene in Cardiff. I’m lucky enough to have a few queer lady friends around me but wow – a space for us all to go and have a drink? Nowhere to be seen.

Anyway, I digress! If you want to see the full list of awards and all that goes with them, head over here 

Congratulations to Planet London on a great day and for bringing some great people together xxx

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Oh my Bloody God YES!!!

I found out about this product at the end of December but it’s only now that I’ve been able to start shouting out about it! Diva, the magazine I wrote for, agreed that it should be a feature on their website but of course, as with magazines, things need to be planned a couple of months in advance. My article has just been published though, which means I can talk about it more here!!

Firstly, here is the link to my article on Diva.

This is one of the few pieces of research on women’s pleasure as a stand alone subject. Pleasure is the context, it isn’t linked with babies, it isn’t linked with hormones…it just looks at women’s pleasure and shares with us the results in the most accessible way ever.

Not only this, but it is using new technology too! (more on that later)

Through looking at the website, you can tell that the people who have conducted the research are well-meaning, are intelligent and sensitive to women’s needs and aren’t out to make a ‘quick buck’ . They give you all the stats and background on the research if you want to geek out on it and they very kindly give you a sneak preview too, so you can get an idea of what the product is. It is a great and welcoming website, it gives you an intro video too and is easy to navigate

It isn’t an app, but it definitely works best on a phone, because of phase 4.

It goes through 4 phases:

Firstly it lists one of the 12 types of orgasm. Let’s use ‘Hinting’ as an example.
When you click on Hinting, It explains in writing what Hinting means, and what type of orgasm it is.

Secondly it introduces you to 3 different women who talk about why they like it and how they discovered it.  They also get to tell you a little bit about themselves.

The third phase is that you are then offered to click on a video which is the woman demonstrating how they do it to themselves, and you get to see EVERYTHING!

Finally, now you must have it on your phone for this, it loads up that particular woman’s vagina, and it responds to your touch – IT’S THE FUTURE!! You can stimulate the woman’s vulva and she will respond to you. The lips and clit actually move with your touch.

How advanced is this?!

I haven’t yet gone through all the different types of orgasms on OMGYES yet and already I feel like I can now be a better lady lover (and to myself of course!) so, not meaning to blow my own trumpet, but if I can learn something new, as a sexpert, then you can too.

When you meet me and talk sex and pleasure, I always encourage you to experiment and do something different from the norm. This website will help inspire you to do this.

IMPORTANT – this product hasn’t quite hit the UK yet, so OMGYES have given me a unique link to help start to spread awareness of the website and the first 25 people that buy it get it at a discount of £19 instead of £40, so now is the time to go for it if you want it.

Click on this link to get it for £19 – http://a.omgyes.com/aff_c?offer_id=1&aff_id=17

I welcome comments about this, what do you think? I’m in love all over again!