Older Women + Sex =


What constitutes older women in ‘this day and age’? Being 50 doesn’t make you an old woman anymore. 100 years ago, a 50 year old woman would be on her death bed – the average life expectancy in 1900 was 52!

Take a look at today and 50 year old woman are really just getting into their prime! Well, the women over 50 that I know anyway! I love the wisdom that comes with older women. They have had a good amount of life experience and still have plenty of years to switch gear and do something new with the experience they have had, or to do something they have been doing for a long time but much more powerfully!

older women

Older Women

Being 33 I am yet to experience the menopause but from spending time around many older businesswomen through my business clubs, I have come to learn a few things about the older lady – as soon as they have been through the menopause, BOOM they have their second wind and are ready to get on with life all over again!

Being in this age bracket, many women still have shame associated to such aspects as their lady bits, orgasms and masturbation. Not all women but many women. This is just what comes of being raised in the 40’s, 50’s and 60’s.

As I said in a previous post, our clitorii get longer as we get older so there are better oppotunities for us to stimulate ourselves! Post-menopausal women find it difficult to self-lubricate which puts them off sex altogether. Well guess what – using the right kind of lube will make a world of difference. Consider using a silicone lube so that is stays there for as long as you want it to. Silicone lube is a luxurious long lasting lube (which also doubles up as massage oil!) and is just perfect to use for sex or masturbation.

‘But my libido has gone since the menopause’ – now are you happy with the fact that it has gone, does it leave you frustrated or do you wish you had it back? Now here is where you need to remember the health benefits of orgasms, or even just genital stimulation. Remember these bullet points and the reasons it is good to keep sexually active. Orgasms:

  1. Release Oxytocin into your system, which is a natural pain reliever
  2. Reduces any muscle or headaches you have
  3. Relieves stress and tension
  4. In turn, this will help relax you and induce sleep
  5. The other thing it can do is release endorphins – the happy hormone! This will then fight off depression and give you more energy!
  6. You will improve your immune system
  7. It also builds resistance to yeast infections

I want to encourage all women to have more ‘me time’ and this especially goes for the older women. Some of you may be divorced or single and some others may find that they don’t have as much physical strength as they used to, which could make sex a little harder to have. Masturbation is the easiest and most efficient to get your blood pumping and your skin glowing and all of the above bullet points! I never want to replace fingers with vibrators, but remember that the reason vibrators help bring you to orgasm is because they can do things to your bits that your finger can’t.


I am looking for women who have been through the menopause to talk to me and answer some questions. I want to hear the real life stories and experiences. This will help me gain a greater understanding of what you go through and how this affects your sex life and through having this knowledge, I will be able to talk with other post-menopausal women and advise them sensitively on how to get back to being sexually active – with their partner or on their own.

For those interested, email me on rhiannon@thatsthespot.co.uk – if you would prefer to speak about it with me privately or individually, we can organise that.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Rhiannon x

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