Strap-Ons

strap-on

Education

Being a lady who likes ladies, it is about time I wrote to all the other ladies to like ladies! So today I am going to talk about strap-ons.

Many people seem to have a fascination with lesbian sex. I think it’s quite fun that we get so much attention based on this one thing, it can sometimes make me feel special! I’ll always remember that joke that Ellen Degeneres said. “People ask me what lesbians do in bed. I tell them that sometimes we like to hold hands” It is also funny that people feel brave enough to ask this in a way, like it is ok for them to ask such a private question.

I am not going to spend this post writing about what we do in bed – it varies from person to person, just like it does with all couples. I want to focus this post on strap-on sex, of which some women do and others don’t. This can include pegging too (which is when women wear a strap-on to penetrate their male partner).

strap-on

Strap-On

When I worked for Sh! I wouldn’t go one shift without showing a girl couple how to wear a strap-on, it was one of my favourite things to do! This item seems to be a ‘go to item’ for lady couples, as it is the most widely-recognised sex toy for female couples. The argument can be made that all they do is replicate heterosexual sex. Surely it also replicates boy on boy sex too? It is just an aid to have a different kind of penetrative sex is all, which is definitely not exclusive to straight couples only.

There are many concerns and complaints over the use of a strap-on. I will deal with these one by one:

My first piece of advice is that when you first buy a harness and a dildo, to try it on a few times before you engage in any sex so that you get used to how to put it on and also to get used to how you feel wearing it. Some women feel like they look silly. You don’t look silly. You just aren’t used to having an appendage sticking out of your groin! You will soon get used to it after you have worn it a few times.

Some women don’t feel attractive in it. This is because in order to get the strap-on to work most effectively, you have to wear it tightly, which means that most women will get their flabby bits pronounced, and that may not feel sexy. There aren’t many women who are skinny enough to get away with having no flabby bits when they have a harness tightened around them! This is something we all need to make peace with and we just need to recognise that this happens to all of us. If you have seen any films or porn where women are wearing harnesses and they aren’t bulging out, the likelihood is that she will not be giving good sex to her partner, because the harness is too loose! A tight harness gives you more control over what you are doing.

Something very simple yet effective – it is ok to have a giggle over wearing a strap on! When you see yourself or your partner wearing one for the first time, it is going to be a funny experience so just laugh and don’t get all awkward about it! It may look funny for the first couple of times but it will immediately change to feeling sexy when it is in use!

A lot of the feedback I get from women is that it feels like a bit of a faff to put the harness on and it is like you have to stop mid-flow to sort yourselves out and then start all over again in a way.

Start your sesh off with it already on. If you’re going to have some foreplay first, wearing a harness doesn’t need to affect your foreplay. You don’t even have to pop the dildo in – put the harness on, have the dildo waiting on your bedside table, go about your foreplay then when the time is right, pop the dildo in. It takes less time than it does for a man to put a condom on, which is a normal part of sex for a lot of people. Walking into a room where your partner is all kitted up and ready to go is quite arousing!

The other option is if you would rather not start off with the harness and want to pop it on only when it is time, or when a decision is made to use it, make it a part of the sexual act. Make your partner play with herself whilst you are putting it on. Go into the other room and put it on in private but before you do this, say something sexy to your partner so she can keep in the aroused state you would like her to stay in. Tell her to imagine something – what is to come (pardon the pun!) or what position you are going to put her in, or you can get her to put something on or take something off.

An extension to this is full roleplay too, where you transform into somebody else as soon you have the harness on.

There we go, ways to deal with strap on awkwardness!!

I stock 2 different types of harnesses – those made by Kinky Monkey, based in the UK,  who hand-makes each harness out of good quality leather and uses a belt buckle system so you can tighten it to the right size to match your body with. They come in different colours (pink, purple, blue, black and red) and are either a Small/Medium or a Medium/Large. They come with one O ring (to keep the dildo secure) and they either measure 40mm (1.75 inches) or 50mm (2 inches) in diameter.

strap-on strap-on

The other type I sell are made by Sportsheets, based in the USA. They are made of polyester, but because of this, they are machine washable! They have adjustable straps rather than buckles which does mean you can get them to fit you perfectly. They come with 3 interchangeable O rings -(1.5 inches, 1.75 inches, and 2 inches). Sportsheets offer a limited lifetime guarantee which basically means that if any of the bits break, you can get in touch with them and they will replace it or mend it!

 

strap-on strap-on

I have just today launched the plus size harnesses that Sportsheets have recently introduced to the world. What is quite cool is their ‘normal’ size harnesses can still fit people whose hips measure up to 60 inches (about a size 22) but then their plus size harnesses can fit women who measure up to 72 inches, so up to a size 30! Yay!

Take a look at them and tell me what you think.

 

 

strap-on strap-on

If you are still worried about using a strap-on, book me in for a consultation and we can have a proper chat. I will bring some harnesses with me too so you can see how it feels to wear a harness!

I hope you all have a good weekend and ‘happy strapping’!

 

Rhiannon x

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