GUEST POST – 5 reasons to include erotica in you sex life

The below is the full version of part one of Sex Academy at L Fest which happened earlier this year in July. For the LBQ women out there that haven’t been yet, check out my post here raving about it!

After Sex Academy had finished I tried to meet the speakers and Anna Sansom was the first person I chatted to and who was a very lovely lady and approved of That’s The Spot :-) . I wrote a small version of what she talked about here but after our chat, we have kept in touch and she sent me her full version not long after. I have kept it until now so I hope you all enjoy it!

I should introduce her properly first –  Anna Sansom was DIVA Magazine’s Sex/Life editor for 2 years up until just recently, she is also a published erotic author. You can find her books on Amazon here: http://amzn.to/1LLzwug

An enthuiastic reader and writer of erotica, Anna shares her five key reasons why you might want to include erotica in your sex life. (She has this gorgeous soft Scottish voice which makes listening to Erotica read by her a gorgeous experience!)

 “I’ve been reading and writing erotica since my early 20s. I started off with collections of lesbian love stories but I soon realised I wanted something steamier to enjoy!

I wrote my first erotica story to seduce a new lover, and quickly got hooked on exploring all kinds of fantasies in my stories.

I’m here to share with you some of the joys of erotica and to offer you 5 reasons why you might want to include it in your own sex life. And, just to be clear, when I say ‘sex life’ I’m referring to solo sex (masturbating and self-pleasuring) as well as partner sex.

REASON ONE: Turn On

Perhaps the most obvious reason why someone would use erotica is because they wanted to get turned on! You might want to read a story on your own, read one aloud to your lover, or write them your very own fantasy. Writing down your fantasies for your self can also be very hot too.

You want a story that turns you on and gets you in the mood. It may be that all you want to do is feel a surge of sexual excitement. Or perhaps you want to masturbate. Or have sex with your lover.

A good erotic story will help get your juices flowing; a good erotic story will pass the wet test!

 

REASON TWO: Ideas

The 2nd reason for using erotica is that it can help give you ideas – ideas just for enjoying in your own fantasies and also ideas for things you might want to try in real life.  This could be anything from threesomes to strap-on sex, BDSM or sex in the bath.

Just remember that most erotica is written as fiction and not an instruction manual. If you are looking for something more instructional, then a good lesbian sex guide like “The Whole Lesbian Sex Book” by Felice Newman is a good resource to go to.

 

REASON THREE: Try out fantasies

As well as giving you ideas, erotica also gives you a way to experience different fantasies and scenarios and to find out what really appeals and what is just not for you. By paying attention to how you respond physically and emotionally to the stories, you can get a clearer idea of what you might be interested in exploring in real life.

 

REASON FOUR: Language

Erotica can help us find a vocabulary that we want to use: do you prefer pussy or cunt or ladygarden? It gives us words that we can say to our lovers and helps us to find out what words they prefer too.

It can help give us a language for communicating our own desires. And it can help us create our own erotic language.

You might want to write a story for your lover as a way of sharing a fantasy you want to explore with them. Or read a story together and talk about what bits turned you on and whether there’s anything from the story that you might want to try out.

By writing stories for your own pleasure you are literally giving a voice to your desires – and that’s a very empowering thing to do.

 

REASON FIVE: Enjoying your Sexual Self

The final reason – and perhaps the most important – is that erotica gives you a way to enjoy your sexual self and to play with your sexual energy.

Regardless of your relationship status, erotica can be a way to tap into the sexual feelings within you. It can also help if there are things going on that make it hard to feel sexual. For example, if you are feeling stressed, have been ill, or if your libido has plummeted. Reading or writing an erotic story can help you to reconnect with your sexual self.

It’s not just about being ill or having low libido though – Erotica can also be a way to celebrate our sexual selves! And to really enjoy the sexual people we are.

 

Follow Anna on Twitter @ladygarden69 (amazing Twitter handle!)

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