Category Archives: Straight Couples

Info and advice on improving your sex life as a male and female partnership.

Erectile Dysfunction

I’m gonna put my hands up. I don’t write enough content for men on here.

I would usually justify that by explaining that I am not a specialist in men’s sexual health, and I think that this is a fair reason to not write about it. I also understand that quite a few men visit my blog to help them become better lovers to women, so thought that this would be a good opportunity to raise awareness of erectile dysfunction. A topic that can make men feel very uncomfortable.

I am therefore providing you with a link to an article written by Juno Medical. A company that puts a lot of research into services provided within the healthcare profession.

This article is informed and is detailed, and it looks at ED from every angle, explaining why it can happen and what kind of changes can be made, and the different routes that could be taken.

This is a helpful piece of writing so make sure you read it – https://www.junomedical.com/en/blog/erectile-dysfunction

Thanks, Rhiannon xx

My episode on Pillow Play, which I can give you for half price!

Last year I wrote a review of Pillow Play for Diva Magazine, when I was their Sex/Life writer. It was in the print magazine so you’d need to order a back-order, otherwise, here is my online article I wrote that linked in with the review.

Pillow Play is an app designed to encourage intimacy between partners, regardless of gender or sexuality. I know though –  the word ‘app’ and ‘intimacy’ don’t seem to go together, do they! I’ll tell ya what, though, in this instance, they definitely do! I will leave you to read the details on the actual website but here are the basics:

The app consists of a series of audio scripts that direct an exchange between you and your partner that promotes intimacy. All you need to do is press play, then you can focus on you and your partner. So yes it’s an app, but the app’s service is given over audio, so you don’t have to go back to the app at all whilst you are following the directions given to you both.

The thing I find most fabulous about it, is that it doesn’t involve any genital touching, which is BRILLIANT. It’s up to you what you want to do after the episode has finished, but what Pillow Play does is encourage thoughtful foreplay, or more importantly, different ways of reaching that feeling of intimacy with each other, and that lovely yummy squishy feeling of closeness.

The app shows you many different ways of getting intimate, there is a different theme to each episode, so there is something for everybody. What it does is inspire you, and also helps you both give up control. It allows you to not have to think. It might sound weird, but surrendering yourself to a state of non-thinking is a powerful and rewarding act, and it also increases the focus on each other and yourselves.

I thoroughly recommended this app to the readers of Diva, and after that, I ended up building a relationship with the founder of the creator of Pillow Play, Darren, and I ended up writing my own episode for them!

If I were to pinpoint my area of expertise, it would be physical pleasure with sex toys. The episode written by me is therefore focused on introducing a bullet vibrator into the bedroom, and how to use it without touching the genitals.

I would love for you lot to listen to it and see what you think. It is a great way to break that barrier that many couples have of bringing a toy into the bedroom, and it is a reassuring episode to show you that sex toys aren’t the scary things that some people think they might be. The episode is called ‘Toy Tease’.

And guess what, I because I am one of the authors, I get to give you a DISCOUNT!

When the app is purchased, the buyer gets themselves all 30 of the episodes from Pillow Play, , only for $99 (although it is British made, there are justified reasons why it is in only dollars rather than British pounds) – so with 30 episodes, it’s only $3.30 per episode, or £2.65. This is already a great deal. As the two of you are using it, you can even go as far to say that it is £1.32 (and a half) each.

BUT! What I can do is HALVE the price and offer it to you for $49 only, which is only £1.30 per episode (75p each!). BRRILLLIANT! And how timely for Valentine’s day!

I should ‘warn’ you though, as it charges in dollars, it will ask you to pay some tax, too

(In the interest of transparency, I want to let you know that I am an affiliate of Pillow Play, so I will get a percentage of the amount you spend. So it would be great if you can make sure that you click on the links on this post to make sure that I do get a cut of it. After all, if you read my blog regularly, you have been getting a lot of good information for free already 😉 and on top of that, no payment swapped hands in the writing of this episode)

I was recommending this app way before I got involved with it, so for $49, which is only £39, I reckon you should go for it. I look forward to hearing your feedback on the app!

Rhi xx

 

Lube Up, Baby!

How many of you, as women, feel shame when you think about using lube?

Vulva’s vary a lot in shape, size, appearance and scent, and of course they can vary in the way they lubricate themselves too. Because of our ovaries and our hormones, we can be ‘wetter’ or ‘dryer’ at different times of the months, and on top of that, our lubrication can often depend on how we are feeling emotionally!

How many of you have been in situations where you start having sex with your partner but end up finding it a little bit uncomfortable because you weren’t quite wet enough? And in these situations, do you continue to have this slightly uncomfortable sex or do you stop it? Neither of these scenarios are ideal. If you continue with it, you will feel the effects of that dry friction for a couple of days – itchy, dry and agitating. If you stop the sex you fear that you may disappoint your partner, or your partner feels as though you don’t fancy them or that they weren’t ‘good enough’ because they didn’t make you wet enough. Cue lots of apologies and guilt and sadness – What a lot of stress!

Sorry, gents, but sometimes it doesn’t matter how sexy you are or how good the foreplay is or if you have cooked for her and washed the dishes that evening. Sometimes a woman can’t get as ‘juicy’ as she needs to be to have enjoyable sex.

WE ALL NEED TO STOP FEELING SHAME AND FEELING JUDGED – WE JUST CAN’T HELP IT!

Having a tube of lube in/on your bedside table or in your handbag can make a massive difference. It takes next to no time to squeeze a bit onto your finger or straight onto your bits (especially with the design of the lube bottle that I sell) and just that feeling of lube on your genitals and that lovely slippy and slide-y feeling can change everything. It is easier to massage your clit and/or to slip something inside you, and with a lubed up lady garden, the stress and pressure of ‘trying to get wet’ is gone and you can focus on enjoying the sex – HOW MAGNIFICENT!

If you are a couple that hasn’t used lube before, I understand it may feel a bit foreign trying it for the first time and maybe a bit weird, but just openly acknowledge with each other that you’re trying something different and recognise that this will only increase your enjoyment and never decrease it.

Using lube could change your sex life forever!

I have got 4 different lubes to choose from on my shop, all made by ID – a company that continues to win awards year after year! Click on each pic to find out more about them:

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If you want to try out any of these lubes, I am offering 10% off the price of them for the next fortnight, just use the code LUBEUPBABY at the checkout – THIS OFFER IS VALID UNTIL MIDNIGHT ON APRIL THE 11th so this is a great opportunity to try it out!

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Sex toys with your male partner

This is a brief blog this week touching upon using toys in the room with your partner, and this is aimed at the women who have male partners.

Again, I do not like to generalise but from what I have heard from various women, men are not as likely to open their minds up to toys in the bedroom as much as women do. For some reason it can make them feel as though some control is being taken away from them, or that they are not good enough.

It goes without saying that communication is such an important tool in a relationship. If you are a couple that talk things out and are honest with each other, you are halfway toward having a more of an adventurous time in the boudoir. If you don’t communicate with each other as much as you would like to, this does create a bit of an obstacle. If you partner truly loves you and finds out that you are unhappy with your sex life, I am sure they would rather know rather than find out and feel embarrased about it. I do not want to get all agony aunt on you but I just want to say that an honest and open chat can help a helluva lot – even if it creates an argument (which can happen when people get defensive), that will finish fairly quickly when you both realise you still love each other and want to make each other as happy as possible.

The easiest way to introduce sex toys into the bedroom – the cock ring. This is something that both you and him can benefit from without it being invasive or having an impact on the way you do things. Sex can remain very organic when using a cock ring. He just needs to slip it on (faster than a condom) and go to it like he usually would!

There are hundreds of different ones out there that come in all colours an shapes, materials and sizes. There are some that are a straight forward ring and fit quite snugly but helps the man maintain an erection for longer, enabling the sex to go on for longer and making the chances of orgasming together more likely. There are also vibrating cock rings which is a big plus for you as a woman. Whilst he is wearing it, it will also stimulate your clit, making for a more powerful orgasm. There are also some which don’t vibrate but that have nobbly bits on them which means you will also receive more stimulation without having to use batteries! It is a very accessible toy and every (straight) couple should own one!

I have sourced 5 different cock rings for my shop cannot wait to show you them – but if you can hold on a couple more weeks, the website will be ready to go!

*update – the online shop is now open, click on the below image to head over there*

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Play Bunnycockring

I will write another blog in the near future about bringing other toys into the room but this is a good start! Remember that I am ready and equipped to do couples consultations so if you book me in to visit you with my array of toys before October 1st, my consultation won’t cost a thing – it will be an open chat about various toys, a chance for you to have a feel of the toys and decide as a couple what you would like. If you don’t like them, there is never an obligation to buy any if you don’t want to. If you do buy any from me via the consultations before October 1st I will give you 15% off. Please do contact me!

Have a good weekend, Cardiff Pride tomorrow!

Rhiannon x