Category Archives: Media

Comments on how my business reflects what is going on in the media

For American/Californian Readers, and it’s not about Trump!

This post is for anybody who lives in or knows somebody who lives in California. I would love it if you could share this post to make everybody aware of how misleading Proposition 60 is and to vote against it.

I listen to quite a few sex podcasts and most of them are America-based. Something that they have all been discussing for the last few weeks is Proposition 60. This is a California-focussed proposition and the whole sex worker community is against it and is urging everybody to vote against it. It sounds good to begin with – to make sure that condoms are worn in all pornography, but as soon as you dig beneath the surface, it becomes ridiculous. Something that makes me very uncomfortable is the fact that if this is voted through, no pornstar’s life will be private, and anybody could get their address if they wanted. How invasive is that? There is more to it than that, but for me, this is what worries me the most.

The guests that all of the podcasts have been talking to about this are all intelligent and informed sex workers who have been in the industry for years and who can see how much this will change the face of porn, in a bad way!

To read more about it and find out how absurd it is, go to this website and also download the most recent episodes of The Whorecast to listen to discussions between sex workers about the impact this couldhave on their lives

There are 3 days until the vote so share this ASAP!

 

How the Planet London Awards went

Hey loves,

This weekend just gone was the Planet Awards, for which I was shortlisted in the LBQ Business category. I was up against Pink Lobster Dating, Square Peg Media, Pretty Pink Pearl, Barberette and my old bosses, Sh! Womenstore.

The awards were held at the Catford Broadway Theatre in London, a gorgeous Victorian Theatre. It was round the corner from the house of a good friend of mine so I thought ‘may as well make a weekend of it’ It was my birthday the day afterwards too, so I decided to stay in London a bit longer to celebrate it there.

The awards started at 3pm. I decided to wear a dress for the occasion! My wife came along with me, we were later joined by my friend who’s house we were staying at, and upon arrival we spotted our friends Slamsisters who had made a special journey from Cheltenham to be there just to be a part of the awards. Not long after that, we spotted Alicia Eyo  – Denny from Bad Girls and apparently she was in Emmerdale too? We also spotted Sarah Waters! She had been nominated for a couple of awards. I was really impressed that such a star still stays in touch with her queer roots – and she did indeed tell us how winning a Planet Award which was mainly voted for by the queer community meant so much more to her. I even got to chat with her too, for proper – she asked me about my business and didn’t try to shoo me away…I ended up shoo-ing myself away!

The new and first ever LGBT Poet Laureate Trudy Howson was there hosting the awards, and we heard some of her (naughtier) poems at the after party later that night!

I didn’t think I was going to win but every time somebody won an award and gave a speech, I would daydream about what I would say! They had been giving honourable mentions here and there to nominees who hadn’t won but they feel deserved recognition, and that is exactly what I got. I was presented with a certificate and had an opportunity to give a little speech. I could have said loads and could have promoted myself but no, I got there and said something about being a small business from Cardiff and mumbled a couple of thank yous and left…confident Rhiannon had disappeared for 60 seconds! The winners were Sh! Womenstore and I was genuinely happy for them :-)

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There was plenty of time to network afterwards though and despite that, I still didn’t get to talk with all of the women I wanted to. I got the opportunity to speak with performer Helen Oakleigh who had written a poem on Gay Pride (I had tweeted about it but my autocorrect decided to call is ‘Gaydon Pride’!) and she performed it for the first time on Sunday. It was bloody great! When we chatted, we remembered each other from the ‘Gingerbeer days’ – an online forum for LBQ woman in London which I joined in 2006 when I moved to London and to make new friends. I made loads of new friends through Gingerbeer and recognised Helen from a few social events from ‘back in the day’ and we have many mutual friends.

I chatted with a lot of lovely people and was lucky enough to have Carrie hang out with me and my wife and friend for a while. Carrie is one of the editors for Diva Magazine, and despite me having written for them since November, I haven’t got to meet any of them yet – ah the joys of technology. It was good to chat with her for a while and put a face to a name.

I also bumped into Caitlin Maggs, somebody I used to work with back in Cardiff in 2011-13 who was a bit of a shy one back then and once drunkenly whispered to me that she was bi but is now all loud and proud and living in London, yay her! She is a freelance writer, you should check her stuff out and hire her – http://caitlinmaggs.blogspot.co.uk/ She was the one assisting with the social media around the Planet Awards.

It felt great to be a part of the Planet London community. It is great to have them there online but when you are in it in real life, it is amazing. I feel blessed to have a good relationship with them, I love that I can write sexual health content for them but my god – being around that many LBQ women on Sunday has made me mourn the lack of this scene in Cardiff. I’m lucky enough to have a few queer lady friends around me but wow – a space for us all to go and have a drink? Nowhere to be seen.

Anyway, I digress! If you want to see the full list of awards and all that goes with them, head over here 

Congratulations to Planet London on a great day and for bringing some great people together xxx

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Some VERY important news and you all need to take action!

Aaaand Happy new year, blah blah resolutions blah blah blah?

If I’m going to make this post a tedious link to resolutions, it will be ‘make it your resolution to support small Welsh businesses…specifically mine…and vote for me!’

And best of all, it will take less than 5 minutes and that’s one resolution achieved!

Could you all pop over to http://www.ultimate-planet.com/planet-services/ultimate-planet-awards/vote-2016-ultimate-planet-awards, scroll about halfway down to the ‘Positive Women’ theme, find the LBQ Business category, see That’s The Spot and give me a big tick?

You will need to give your name and email address but they are good people and do not spam! You don’t need to choose somebody for every award, so if you are not very familiar with the LBQ scene, do just vote for me in the LBQ business category and head to the bottom and click ‘cast your vote’. If you want to take the time to scroll through the awards and recognise any names, by all means, give them a vote!

I’m proper chuffed to be shortlisted for an award by Ultimate Planet – Ultimate Planet originates from London but is now taking over the UK! It is a community website for LBQ (Lesbian, Bi, Queer) women and it lists and discusses all things LBQ-related, be that from events to books to gigs. They also have their own awards! Ultimate Planet created the Ultimate Planet Awards to recognise, thank and promote the hard work from dedicated grass roots event organisers and community businesses who are committed to improving the lesbian, bi and queer scene. They are delighted to be able to show the love to all the women who work tirelessly to create a fun, safe, special scene and community for lesbian, bi and queer women in London, Brighton and beyond.

The awards started in 2013 and after the success of the first event  they have continued them each year. They continue to grow in popularity with the hashtag  #lesbianoscars and #planetawards

I have been shortlisted along with another 5 businesses and am happy to say I am the only Welsh entrant. They have up until recently been fairly London-centric (let’s be fair, the couple that run it also have full time jobs so there is only so much spare time available! I do truly admire the success of Planet London) so it is a great feeling for a one woman business from Cardiff get recognised. They have recently started working on going national though, and I am looking forward to getting more involved with them.

Being a business that promotes positive sex education, speaking openly about sex and preferences and also uses Welsh day to day, I think you will agree that, for the UK, this is a very niche business, This is why the award would mean so much to me if I were to win it – it will help put Wales on the Ultimate Planet map and show the English that Welsh is alive and kicking!

Remember – it will take up less than 5 minutes of your time xx

Diolch yn fawr am eich pleidlais ac eich gefnogiaeth, thank you for your vote an d your support.

The deadline for the votes is January the 31st, and the awards will be held in Spring time.

WISH ME LUCK (and share this post!)

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Rhiannon x

Some good news, especially for the girls who like girls!

I have some news to share with you today:

I have recently become Diva’s new Sex/Life editor! This is a  pretty big thing for me. Diva is the only National magazine in the UK for LBQ (lesbian, bi, queer) women and pretty much every girl who likes girls in the UK knows what Diva is.

When I was 14 (1996) my best mate came out to me as bi and I promptly came back out to her as bi! It was such a relief to have somebody I was so close to to feel the same as I did, especially at that age when it wasn’t so easy to come out. Section 28 still existed, the age of consent for gay men was still 18, LGBT people couldn’t get married or civilly partnered, or adopt – there has been a lot of progress since then. And, of course, we were at that awkward age in school. We soon found ‘the only other lesbian’ in our Year and at 16 we started exploring the scene. One of the first things we did was buy Diva. There was a debate at the time in the ‘readers letters’ part about whether there should be posters in the mag so we wrote in supporting it and disclosing our crushes (mine were Kate Winslet and Clare Danes….nothing’s changed there!) and also telling them our little story… and they published it the next month! This was very exciting for us! I hope that my bezzie still has that copy somewhere!

(The next thing we did was buy t-shirts with those classic logos – ‘I can’t even think straight, ‘closets are for clothes, etc…which happened to be when I came out to ma!)

Anyway what I am saying is that Diva is an institution and it is an honour to be their new Sex/Life editor. I hope that you enjoy my articles. The deal is that I write one for the website and one for the mag every month, and there will be plenty that aren’t girl-on-girl specific too. Here is the link to my first article that was published online this weekend. This is for all women. If you want to read the one for the mag, you’ll have to buy it!

I have by now submitted my February pieces to them, it’s fun working in the future!

I’d love to know what you think about the articles. If you have any questions or want to challenge me on anything I say, do get in touch with me on rhiannon@thatsthespot.co.uk

I would also like to take this opportunity to thank Anna Sansom, the previous Sex/Life editor, for recommending me to the editors of the mag (very glad I went to L Fest this year!)

So, lesbians, have you been thinking of having a sex toy soiree but haven’t got one together yet? Imagine what your friends would say when they find out that it will be held by the Sex/Life editor for Diva!

Click here to enquire about the soirees – I look forward to hearing from you!

Rhi xxx

 

(Oh, and in case any of you are wondering, no, me and bezzie mate never got together. Ew. We are still the bestest of friends! The ‘other gay girl’ did end up being my first girl kiss though!)

Chance to appear on a new TV Show

If you read my blog, you will know by now that I encourage all of you to open your mind, to learn more about your bodies, about sexual pleasure and experiment with the information you gain. I encourage you to experiment with yourself and with your partner/s if you have one/any, and that age, gender, sexuality and disability shouldn’t hold you back.

Although I respect that this side of your life is allowed to be private, and never ask anybody to share things with me that they don’t want to, you know that I am very happy to encourage discussion. Discussion can help people learn and consider different viewpoints. For those that agree with me and aren’t so ashamed about talking their sex life and are into playing with different things, this shout out is for you:

Award winning production company Clearstory are currently working on a T.V. series for Channel 4. It’s a show that aims to get the people of Britain talking more openly and honestly about their sex lives so that we can be more open and encourage better sex for all.

We are looking for people from all backgrounds, sexual orientations and relationship status’ who aren’t embarrassed about discussing their sexual habits, whether it be what turns them on in the bedroom to something they’ve never tried before and have always wanted to. Whatever it is, we want to hear from them!

We believe that by sharing personal experiences with the nation we can all benefit and have better sex.

I would love to see one of you lovely couples on this programme so if you are interested in appearing on it, contact Claire from Clearstory on contact@clearstory.co.uk.

Look forward to seeing you there!

Rhiannon x

My top five picks from Sexhibition

For those that read my previous post about Sexhibition, you will know how busy we were and that I didn’t get much chance to look around all the stalls in as much detail as I hoped I would be able to. Some stalls really caught my eye though, and I want to recommend them and for you to have a look!

These are in no particular order:

Shiri Zinn makes the most beautiful dildos I have ever seen, and the most beautiful harnesses! She also makes butt plugs! We had a lovely chat and she showed me how heavy a lot of the dildos and butt plugs were, they were made of glass and were just so sculptural! She has given me her blessings for me to sell her items on my website, so as soon as I have money to buy in some stock, I shall have the harnesses available and maybe the dildos (she only mentioned the harnesses in her email to me!)

Misfortunes of Virtue was another very different stall, what you found on sale there were some very beautiful handmade silverwork with art inspired by the writings of the Marquis de Sade. It is items like cufflinks and spoons and the like, so you don’t immediately see the images on the items straight away! On Friday we had a good chat with Mary, the owner, and again, I am looking to get these up for sale on my website too :-)

Ethical Kink stood out to us. This is a company that handmakes their fetish and BDSM gear or sources it ethically. Their products are vegan, they don’t use sweatshops or source from companies that use sweatshops, they donate monthly to the International Labour Rights Forum, who’s aim is to promote humane treatment of all employees, and much more.
Becky chatted with Stu, the owner, on the Friday evening and on Sunday I gave him advice about which manufacturers I know to be the most ethical.

The Bondageman is a great company – they sell a lot of stuff but they also make candles especially for heat play and they advertised these candles through showing pictures of some of the art that one can create on somebody’s back, very cool! You should go to their website just to see these pics! They did a bit of a demo for us, using wife lady’s arm – very helpful!

Sheets of San Francisco is my final recommendation. They have created a sheet that is completely waterproof so you can have sex as messy as you want and you will not get your bed messy! Any liquid will stay on the outside and protect your bed and mattress, brilliant! The sheets feel nice and sexy too and they make limited edition prints too. This is another item that shall be up for sale on my website soon!

On top of these recommendations, I want you male readers to check out  Love Your Balls . They spent all weekend showing men how to check their testicles to make sure that they were good and healthy and making them aware of testicular cancer. I admire them for setting up there and bringing this really important issue to the event.

A special mention goes to Love Arc, who I got to spend a bit more time with. I met them at the trade show in June and already have their fab creation for sale on my website  

Another mention to Kinky Monkey, who’s harnesses I have sold since I started a year ago. The owner Clare is awesome, and so helpful! Despite her being there, I still sold some of her harnesses, and she even let me buy a particular one off her so I could sell to my customer, wow!

It was great to also see Horny Geek Girl – sex toy reviewer and writer of erotica – and have a hug and a catchup. I met a couple more sec toy reviewers too – Justindecerous and ‘Jessica’ of Jessica’s Rabbit (I am not sure if she would like her real name mentioned?!)  who are also in the same profession as Horny Geek Girl.

I had the pleasure of catching with Lulu who is my contact at Rocks Off (a brand I am very big on, as you can tell if you’ve attended a soiree of mine!) Seb from one of my wholesalers, and Tanya from Intimate Torment, who was a big help to me last May at a Bristol event when I asked her how I actually find the wholesalers! Seb’s company was the first one she recommended :-)

I’ll tell ya what was really great – A woman called Charlotte Rose introduced herself to me on the Sunday and upon hearing my reply to ‘What does your company do exactly?’ she invited me to be interviewed on her radio show which she hosts on a Monday night! It was great to be a part of it, and thank you Charlotte, for supporting my business through inviting me to be on the show! Charlotte is a great woman – you all need to look at what she does – www.1stladyofsex.com – she is a sex worker, a political campaigner and a sex educator, and I look forward to keeping in touch with her.

Here is a recording of the show, listen to it all, but if you have to pick a point in it, go to the 97th minute to hear me :-) She also interviews Shiri Zin and Simon, the male half of LoveArc.

I love this business and I love the connections I make. Everyone is so happy and positive and just great company, so much love to you all xxx

 

The Amazingness of Sexhibition!

WELL, this weekend just gone – August the 21st-23rd – I spent the weekend in Manchester trading at the most amazing event! It was called Sexhibition!

The woman behind it, Cheryl Smith, decided it was time to create an epic event oop North, bringing in all aspects of the sex industry into one big room. It was held at Event City and was a very colourful weekend, I am so glad to be a part of the first one and I would highly recommend you visit next year. I reckon I will be there again!

My wife was lovely enough to come with me and support me for the whole weekend. I tell you what, I definitely couldn’t have done without her. Still being so new, I can’t afford to employ anyone, and because my wife has ‘put up’ with my sex toy geekery over the last year and a half, she has turned into a bit of a sex toy expert herself, I am so proud of her! I am pretty sure that being a sex toy expert in her spare time was not part of her agenda in life before she met me! Along with the amazing customer service she gave and the sales she made, the emotional support was something no other employee could have given!

The first day was a bit stressful (this is where the emotional support came in!) – we left at 10.15am from Cardiff and should have got to Manchester by 1.30pm, but loads of different bits of traffic meant that we didn’t get to Event City until 4pm – and that is the time we should have been set up and ready!!! Luckily, a lot of other exhibitors had been through the same thing, so we were all running late and the programme of the evening changed a bit to accommodate those that were late. There was meant to be the opportunity to walk about the place to see everybody else’s stalls but as so many of us were still setting up, it was a more bit ad hoc than intended…I think?!

At 8pm it was the industry cocktail evening, we had managed to get changed and make ourselves look decent for the evening and managed to get to the bar before the queue got silly.

 

Before we got in, we bumped into Cara Sutra – THE sex blogger of the UK (check her out, she is a big name in our industry) and hung out with her for a good ten minutes, which felt quite special. I met her briefly at the ETO trade show in June as she was running a blog-specific area, and tried to chat with her, but being such an in demand person, and now with her own bondage kit being retailed, which was elsewhere at the show, she was understandably very busy so we kept missing each other! So what did I do with my time I had with her on Friday? Made small talk and a bit of a fool of myself. I cracked a silly joke that was just embarrassing and didn’t make sense. Nevertheless, it was great to hang out with her a little. (Gonna be honest, I was a bit awestruck and not many women reduce me to the person I was in those ten minutes. Embarrassing much. She had a very vampy look about her though, which didn’t help!)

The industry night wasn’t a success for me unluckily. We chose somewhere to sit down which I think was a bad move, but we were knackered and had a big suitcase with us as we were staying with a friend in town. There is one couple that sat on the other end of the table, which made conversation difficult. We probably should have stayed standing and near the bar so we could have started chatting with people than. There was a panel talk for the night too, which was a discussion about porn and the paywall. It had some great panellists and great points being made, but due to the space we were in, and the buzz of chat in the air, it was difficult to hear them, which was a pity. We left the night a bit earlier than we could have and found our way to the correct bus into the middle of Manchester and had a great catchup with my bud who let us have his bed. I studied in Manchester so still have a decent amount of friends up there, but he is the only one I was able to see, as the weekend kept me quite busy!

I think this cocktail was called something like 'sexually arty'? It had Goldschlager, lime and other flavours we loved!

I think this cocktail was called something like ‘sexually arty’? It had Goldschlager, lime and other flavours we loved!

Now Saturday was EPIC. It was from 10am-5.30am then it closed down for a reset for the evening do which was from 7.30pm-1am, and yes, we were to be there for the whole time. This is the biggest event I have taken part in, so far, and was a bit of a financial risk. I had intended on just visiting for the day and ‘scoping it out’ but Cheryl seemed to like my business a lot and charmed me into exhibiting there in the end! I didn’t know what to expect and in one way I was looking forward to just getting my name out there. I’ll tell ya what, we were busy all day! Something That’s The Spot prides itself on is giving information to all about how things work and why they work like they do and what they can do for you. The advice is bespoke and detailed, and it was great chatting with so many different people about our toys. The G Vibe was a favourite – it does look different from the rest! The Stronic always provokes a reaction with the women and immediately goes on their wishlist. Another big point of conversation was the Mooncup – some women had heard of it and some hadn’t. It was great to educate so many women this weekend on why the Mooncup is the future. It left a lot of women with something to think about and some of them took the leap and bought one – praise to each and every one of you! The biggest seller, by far, were the Quickie Cuffs – we sold out of them in the first day, never mind the evening!

I had two tables – one was dedicated to dildos and strapons and the other was vibrators, lubes and sweets It was great how many different people took the time to look at the dildos and the harnesses, and I love chatting with the peggers. For those that don’t know what pegging is, it is the simple act of a woman wearing the strap on and giving anal sex to their male partner. I love it when I meet men who have discovered their ‘P Spot’ (the male version of the G Spot where the prostate is – up the bum) – as soon as a man allows the experience to happen to them, they then open up a new world of possibilities. It’s something I really try to encourage men to do, so when I met so many of them this weekend, it was great to see them so comfortable with it and getting excited at the thought of buying a new dildo, rather than making awkward jokes about it. I helped one woman try on a Kinky Monkey Harness over her trousers – I joined in with her of course – and I also had this lovely chat with a girl who had a very similar name to me. She had come out at the beginning of this year as gay and was interested in trying out strap-on sex. I got to have a real, proper chat with her about it – one of my favourite things – introducing something new to somebody, and not just talking about the products but also about the act of using it, and helping them feel safe and excited about it! She bought a great dildo harness combo (this time a Sportsheets harness – more affordable and machine washable) I hope she is enjoying her new experiences – would love to hear how it went, if you are reading this!

There were a lot of traders there. I have just counted the list and there were 96 altogether. In my next post I am going to tell you about my top 5 exhibitors from the weekend. Along with the weird and wonderful traders, with stalls ranging from bondage gear to fetish wear to nail art to 3D printing to sex beds, ans also companies like swingers parties, porn producers and even SEO, there were some cordoned off spaces there too. There was a XXX cinema with some tasteful, arty Avant Garde erotica on, as well as documentaries and fashion films. There were 2 spaces for workshops on various subjects, like tantra, bondage, wax candle art, pole dancing, sexual confidence. There was also a main stage with some wonderful fashion shows and talks. I almost wish I had been a punter! The wife had seen a couple of the shows and said that they were all gorgeous. I am planning on proposing a strap-on workshop for next time.

We closed at 5.30pm and we went to find somewhere to eat. We were next to the Trafford Centre, so it wasn’t difficult, oh and the wife completely fell in love with the Trafford Centre! ‘Why can’t St David’s 2 be like this, seriously, why?!’ We treated ourselves to a Gourmet Burger – we have been living very cleanly with our eating in the last few months, so this was a big treat! (Yeah we did pay for it later on with bloatedness and sugar crashes)

It all started again at 7.30pm, and it was definitely a different atmosphere. The evening was more sensual and exotic. There were some (apparently) gorgeous performances, including burlesque, pole dancing, cabaret and more. One of the workshops areas turned into a lap/pole dancing club, and the XXX cinema was still in full swing. Some Guests had pre-booked an a la carte dining experience, with the tables being right in front of the stage. The other workshop area had been transformed into  ‘An adventure in debauchery’ hosted by Dystopia – a legendary BDSM and Fetish party. There was even this awesome bar which served gourmet coffees and afternoon teas in fine china, next to a stage with drag artists! A lot of people had made a proper effort to dress up for this – there were some fabulous looks going on, from corsettes to leather jock straps to gimp masks to latex spikes! We were next door to a Manchester-based shop called ROB of Manchester and they had doggy play happening all day anyway! There had been a ‘Pinups and Pornstars’ event before the evening do started, where people got to meet some of the ‘great and glamorous of the international adult and fetish scenes’ I can imagine that was quite popular! I overheard a conversation between two pornstars in the toilets – interesting getting an insight into their lives!

Due to the entertainment and other fabulous distractions, custom wasn’t so great in the evening, although there was still a lot of positive chat at our stall. We decided to close up at 11.30pm. We were knackered! Due to the fact that there were still people around, we had to pack down the stall so nobody nicked any items. We only hid everything under the tables, so if there were any ‘evil gimps’ about, they could have easily taken stuff. Being newbies to this, we learned from this and know how to deal with it next time. The stalls around us had systems and we have learned from them too! (Not a thing was stolen, the sex and fetish community can, as I thought, be trusted!)

Sunday was a quieter day generally. There was still stuff going on on the stage but no workshops. It was more chilled and less busy. Sales slowed down for us but we still made a lot of connections, and we had managed to pay for the stall on the first day so everything else was a bonus! It closed at 3pm and we managed to leave at 4pm and got home at 8.30pm. It was my turn to drive at 6pm and I decided to have a coffee just before then so that I didn’t fall asleep at the wheel. Now I haven’t drank any caffeine in months, so when we were ready for sleep at 11pm I was like ‘phew, the caffeine didn’t keep me awake for that long’…then I spent another 4 hours awake 4 HOURS!!! I got to sleep at 3am and had to be up at 4.30am to take my lovely lady wife to the airport (she had just helped me for 3 days, it was the least I could do!) Sleeping patterns are now back to normal :-)

Despite the fact that I barely left my stall, I was still able to meet some people in the industry and make some important connections. I will talk about that in my next blog, so stay tuned!

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The Svakom ‘Selfie Stick’

So it looks like it is Svakom’s ‘Selfie Stick’ that has aroused interest on social media this week! Here is just a small amount of  the articles on it, read them to get a variety of opinions:

Here is the Independent’s Article

Here is Bustle’s take on it

Huffington Post

One more opinion on it – Hello U (I wasn’t fond of this one!)

Svakom1      Svakom2

I was lucky enough to look at this toy at the national trade show last June when I was setting the business up. I loved the look of it and was really interested in the extra dimension it would add to the sex toy experience. I loved how technologically advanced it was, (I love a gadget!) and was very impressed that they had remembered to include an LED light on and they also showed me how the camera doesn’t shake when it vibrates – what a mean feat! This device is designed to pleasure you and for you to explore yourself via your computer and Face Time and you can also take pics! WOW! The colour is the perfect purple too 😉

So I was very impressed by this piece of technology but the more people I spoke to about it, the more I realised I was part of the minority. I suppose this is another example of how some ladies can maybe feel a bit embarrassed about their bits and would rather not focus on anything to do with it.

It’s great that the Siime, or Gaga (it’s real name, not ‘selfie stick’ or vagina selfie device’) has had some coverage this week and hopefully it will interest and intrigue more women.

Not only is it an amazing piece of technology – an HD camera that can take pics without any shake in it installed in such a small device, and a rechargeable, waterproof silicone vibrator with various settings, it is also giving us all the chance to see what goes on ‘down there’. It has taken the premise of that 70’s style exploration of your genitals through the use of your mirror and has taken it to the 21st century! You can explore yourself like you would with a mirror without having to get yourself at a funny angle, and then you can explore yourself inside too! Imagine what Dr Masters would have said to this! I can’t wait to see what my insides look like at different states of arousal, how bloody cool!!!!

This will not only educate yourself but it will educate your partner too. Like I always say – KNOWLEDGE IS POWER and the more you know about your bits, the more you know how to treat them.

It costs £99.99 you can get it in Black or in Purple.

svakomblack

 

 

 

My Review of the Fifty Shades of Grey Movie

Well, like the good sex toy consultant that I am, I made sure to watch the earliest screening of Fifty Shades of Grey movie today, so there I was at 1pm wondering how the next 2 hours would pan out!

I read the first part of the trilogy back when it came out but that was it. I didn’t feel the need to read the rest. I could understand why people were criticising it for the style of writing, it wasn’t the best piece of writing, but again, was E.L James an actual author? This all stemmed from some fan fiction she had been writing and even she was surprised by the reaction to her book. Despite the writing not being ‘perfect’, it didn’t stop me from turning the pages – she got me hooked on the book and I didn’t feel inclined to put it down, so she was definitely doing something right! I enjoyed reading it – I didn’t get all impassioned about it either way though, I didn’t feel the need to form an opinion on it. I enjoyed it but could see how others wouldn’t have liked it. The other uproar was about the BDSM aspect. I am not massively active in this community nowadays but I know how consensual BDSM works and people go about this in different ways. Yes it could have been misogynistic and the fact that he had a rubbish childhood made the subject more ‘discussable’.

The best thing that I believe came out of this was opening a lot of people’s worlds and giving people the chance and the platform to talk about sex and sex toys too. No matter what your opinion on the book, you can’t help but thank it for getting more people to talk about sex in more of a serious way, and to experiment a bit more.

So I watched the film, and I tell you what – well done them! Well-balanced is the word I would use to describe it. It showed the right amount of sex, the right kind of sex. It also gave us a balanced representation of both characters – as the book is written in first person, it is a bit one sided, but watching it as a film helped us form better opinions on both characters. I feel that the main focus was on the relationship between the two characters, and that was worth watching it for. The casting was brilliant – Jamie Dornan got that balance between intensity and vulnerability spot on. Dakota Johnson played the quiet, geeky Anastasia Steele pretty well and it was great to see her character’s journey too from innocent(ish) virgin to a liberated woman who made sure she spoke her mind, and the irony about it is that she became more assertive when she was experiencing more submission! I liked that.

There was a decent amount of nudity and was a good amount of raunch for an 18 certificate film too without it going into the soft porn domain. I also feel that the BDSM scenes they did show was quite sensitive to the practice of it. They made it clear to the audience too about safe words, etc.

I still don’t know whether it is misogyny or not. Remember that this is based on one woman’s fantasy and some women do fantasise about it I know plenty of male subs too though to female doms – there doesn’t seem to be much criticism on that aspect of life. I suppose this film could be to abusive husbands as violent video games can be to kids with violent tendencies so I can understand why some people are not happy with this franchise.

My summary is that I was pleasantly surprised and is worth a watch. There were only about 10 people in the audience (it was 1pm!) and I think I preferred it that way – the sex scenes did get me a bit hot under the collar and the idea of sitting in a sold out showing, being next to, behind and in front of women and men that could get a little turned on from the film would probably be a bit awkward! So I hope those who watch it enjoy it.

Don’t forget that I have the whole official collection of Fifty Shades on sale on my website so check out http://shop.thatsthespot.co.uk/collections/fifty-shades-of-grey-official-collection

Wand

Wand

Spanking Ruler

Spanking Ruler

Beginners Bondage Kit

Beginners Bondage Kit

Massage Cande

Massage Cande

Now is the best time to chat with me

It is by honest coincidence that I am writing this post pretty much exactly a year into the beginning of my ‘business adventure’!

It is this time last year that I finished working at my stable full time job and went into a part time job and started educating myself on how to start a business. To know more about my journey, read my first blog I posted back in August.

We launched my website on September the 12th and the last five months since then have been harder than I ever thought they would be. I’ve never seen myself as an entrepeneur. I am not out to make loads of money. I don’t come from a family that has owned their own businesses either. Because of this, I have learned a helluva lot of new things over the last year and even more so in the last five months. The reason I started this company up is because I have passion, drive, the right experience and  the right skills to provide advice on sex, masturbation and what toys to use and people are comfortable talking to me. I also want to leave a legacy! Everything else one needs to do and know whilst running a business is what I either learned whilst preparing, or what I am learning as I go.

What I do know, though, is that the service I provide is unique, backed by experience, available to a lot of people who haven’t had this opportunity before and is really special. Those that have booked me in for soirees and consultations have had great experiences and the results are everything I hoped for. This business is such a new concept though – taking sex toys seriously isn’t something a lot of people are familiar with. I am therefore really thankful to those that have given me the chance to promote myself, like City Life mag for doing a 2 page editorial on me, my I am Woman business club for letting me bring my stock to the meetings to sell. The more I do this, the more comfortable the business club members are getting with the concept, which is great to see. My other club, Damsels in Success, welcomed me with open arms. Ignite Cardiff also allowed me a 5 minute slot to talk about masturbation. Pinkfire events allowed me to sell at their Glitzy Christmas markets. These platforms are helping me get the word out that a business like this does exist and they enhance a woman’s sex life no matter what their status is.

Although I am only halfway through my first year, I have already started wondering whether That’s The Spot will be successful and whether my concept was too ‘micro-niche’ (from my reading of many business books, mags and attending many different talks, in order to succeed nowadays, you need to do better than be in a niche, you need to be in a micro-niche) or whether Cardiff was ready for it, but then something lovely happened yesterday!

I subscribe to the Erotic Trade Only magazine which is the industry mag for those in the ‘pleasure’ industry and I found myself on their ‘Webwatch’ section this month (they choose one website each month) and they wrote the following about me:

“The great thing about the internet is the whole world is potentially your customer. Unfortunately it’s also your competitor’s customer too, and bucketloads of cash has ben squandered over the last decade by companies entering the market with the bold intention of being ‘bigger than Lovehoney’. The ETO office takes calls every month from prospective start-ups and our advice is always the same – if you can’t do anything better than or different to the existing players then your time and money could be put to better use in an alternative industry.

Way back in 2003 we published a piece suggesting one way internet stores could differentiate themselves from their competition was not to think global but to think local with their marketing efforts and this month we were delighted to come across www.thatsthespot.co.uk, a Cardiff-based business set up by a former Sh! Duty Manager that offers a sex toy consulting service in South Wales.

In a nutshell, customers get in touch ans explain their needs and the site owner visits the client’s premises with a selection of goods and runs through their functions. It’s like the middle ground between a detailed in-store demonstration and a party plan evening, but with out the distractions of the former and the saucy games and gossip of the latter. There is a small charge for the service, so customers won’t feel obliged to make a purchase – and even if they don’t, the business has at least recouped its costs.

That’s The Spot offers the same service to groups under the banner of Sex Toy Soirees, and also sells goods online in the traditional way.

The site itself is easy on the eye and a joy to use – it certainly hits our spot.”

Not only has this reinforced what I have been working on for the last few months, but they barely bothered talking about my actual website because they were so impressed by the concept! With this write-up coming from these people, it has confirmed that despite the slow start, I do have a good idea and in a couple of years people will be paying good money to receive the advice I am giving nowadays for either free or next to nothing! The reason I write this is because I want those to have been considering soirees and consultations to bite the bullet and do it! Read through the testimonials on my website if you need more convincing. Yesterday I uttered the words ‘If I did a soiree for every time somebody said they wanted a soiree from That’s The Spot, my business would be in a different place’! I know that it will get to a point where I will charge for the soirees rather than offer the hostess 20% off so now is the time to book me in! And as for consultations, it is only £10 or £20 for an hour in my company, this price will rise!

Email me – rhiannon@thatshespot.co.uk and we can get a date in the diary – there is only one of me and there are only so many weekends in the year, so take a deep breath and email me and you will not regret it!

 

I look forward to hearing from you all.

 

Oh, you know that I mentioned that microniche thing? Remember that on Sunday (Feb 8th) I am hosting a Lesbian Valentines Market at Wow Bar in Cardiff from 12-6! I will be there with 4 other stallholders selling goods in a space where women with female partners feel comfortable shopping with no judgement. There will also be a free prize draw! Pop your head in and say hi!