As you know one of the goals of That’s The Spot is to educate and advise our readers. This latest entry in our advice and education series is on anal play. I hope you find it helpful.
I want to get something out of the way before I delve into how to explore anal play. It is something I hear asked whenever this subject is brought up, so let’s lay it to rest once and for all. Enjoying butt fun is not only for gay men. Anyone can enjoy and participate, if you are a straight male, liking things going up your bottom will NOT make you gay. Sexual orientation is a part of identity, it is not just about what you like (or don’t) in the bedroom.
Now that’s out of the way. If you’ve never tried anal before and are curious as to whether it is something you might enjoy, I hope this little guide will help you get started. It is based on a combination of my experiences and advice I read when I was researching it. And yes, I would definitely start by using small butt plugs, rather than going straight for a more girthy dildo or cock.
Choosing your Toy
Let’s be clear any toy that is going to be used anally need to have a flared base. That means it needs to have a base that is much wider than the insertable section, preferably with a narrow neck between the main body and the base. You will find a few different styles of base; some have a T-bar (like this), or a round base (like this), or a loop (like this). All of these are designed so that the toy can’t get sucked up by your anus. This is really important so please, please, please never use something for anal play that doesn’t have a flared base. There are lots of different materials of butt plugs out there; stainless steel, silicone, glass, stone, metal alloy, etc. Choose a good body safe material even if it costs a little more because you want to be sure that you can thoroughly clean anything that is being used anally.
You should start small, you can always build it up but going too big too soon can cause problems (including tearing). You can get some wonderful anal starter kits, that include a selection of different sized butt plugs so you can start with a tiny plug and work up to a bigger one. This kit from Nexus is a good starting point if you’ve never had anything go up your bottom.
You also need to make sure you use lube, lots of lube. This can be water-based (advisable if using silicone toys) but you want the thicker type lube rather than a very runny one (I like this one). The more viscose lubes will help protect your bottom, and make it easier to insert your toy.
It will also help if you are relaxed. If you are feeling tense or anxious you are likely to fight ‘the entry’. Forcing a toy up your bottom in this way could cause tearing, this is not something you want to happen, as it could leave you open to infection. Breathing deeply will help you relax as you insert the butt plug.
The first time I tried anything anal, it was a butt plug about the size of a finger. A silicone butt plug with a t-bar base (I prefer this style as they fit more comfortably between my butt cheeks), it had a slight amount of flexibility and give, so it wouldn’t feel too hard when I was inserting it. The toy I used was very similar to the b-Vibe Novice, I slathered the insertable part with lube, and was amazed at how easily it slipped in. Once it was in I found it very comfortable to wear. I only really noticed it when I moved around. I did use my doxy to have an orgasm while it was in and it felt a bit different to normal. I realised I could have probably managed something slightly bigger but I was very glad I started with something small.
The second butt plug I tried was ribbed (like this one), obviously with the texture it meant it was probably three times the width of the first one….and it took me a while to decide I was ready to go for it. Over Christmas, after a few glasses of wine I decided to give it a go. It took plenty of lube and some deep breathing but in it went. I found the ridges were great to help ease the plug in as you could turn it like a corkscrew to help get it started moving in. Once it was started those same ridges gave a very pleasant sensation as it was going in and out, and when it was in I felt full, not stretched just nicely filled.
Definitely start off small and build up. Don’t rush things, wait until you’re comfortable with one size before you go to the next one. If at any point you feel sore, and anxious, stop and try again another time. It’s supposed to be fun, the end goal is to enjoy yourself.