Mental Health and Sex

Introducing That’s The Spot’s first Guest Blog!

I met Beth over the waves of the internet about a month ago. She is both a sex toy reviewer and a Yankee Candle lover! She writes some great blogs and fab toy reviews. I have taken great joy in reading what she had to say! She was listed as one of the top 100 ‘sex blogging super-heroes’ with Kinkly.com in both 2013 and 2014, nice one! I was lucky enough last week for her to accept my request of writing a blog post for That’s The Spot, and here it is! This post looks at mental health and its link with sex. If you like what she has to say, head on over to her website – www.naughty-corner.com to read more of her posts.

Mental health is a rather taboo subject that people find awkward to approach.

It doesn’t help matters, when someone who has lived with depression experiences ignorance from the general public and at times, it can often make matters worse.

One of the big effects that people generally experience with a mental illness, is that of a low sex drive, erectile dysfunction or no ‘want’ to participate in sexual activities.  It can feel like a needless chore, to some and to others, depression and alike, can have the opposite effect.

Some people living with depression, anxiety or other similar illnesses, can sometimes find themselves craving for sex but why? Is it a need to be touched?  The want of feeling that you are needed? Or because you crave the rush of those endorphins kicking in?

Hyper sexuality can have many points to it, such as:

  • Never feeling sexually satisfied
  • Inappropriate sexual behaviors
  • Putting current relationships at risk due to multiple partners
  • Never feeling gratified with your experience
  • Increased masturbation (never a bad thing!)

The list can go on but why?  When you suffer with a mental disease such as Bi-polar, your emotions are like a roller coaster and a way of hiding that pain, can be through sexual sanctification.  Using sex as a sort-of-painkiller, so to speak. You could class this as a ‘sexual mania’, using sex as a way to avoid other intimate forms of any relationship.

But what about the opposite effect?  A lack of the sex drive!

Many things can effect a low libido, from medication to mood swings.  A noted side effect to taking daily medication can be a dive in the sex drive, erectile dysfunction and many other attributes.  But don’t worry, there are ways of getting out of this, especially if you have a partner but it does involve a big effort on the non-depressive partner.

Erectile Dysfunction can be attributed to medication, emotional issues and much more.  It doesn’t mean that the man living with this, can not enjoy sexual contact.  There are many products in today’s market that have been formed, to help those living with ED.

You could try cock cages, penis extensions and cock rings. If these do not take your fancy and you only wish to satisfy your partner, then you could try a remote control bullet or a couples sex toy like the Rocks Off Rock Chick.

There are herbal alternatives that a man with ED could try but I would seek advice from your GP, before trying these alternatives.

With women, it can be slightly more complicated but try having fun with this!  If your lady is feeling low and not in the mood, set up a romantic-stress-free night in.  Low lighting, candles, a glass of wine and soft music.  You need to make her feel more than just a bit of meat, this sounds harsh but it is true.

Try a massage candle and indulge her body in a mixture of gentle touches, teasing strokes and relaxation.  Find what spots do it for her and focus on them.  Make her feel like she’s the only thing in the world right at that moment, that you care for.

Why this avenue?  You need to lead the body into a direction that kick starts that sexual motor, make her brain refocus on the heights that you can reach.  It can take a while but approaching your partner this way, does have its benefits. Whilst relaxing her or him, you are reintroducing the body to a non-stressful environment.

These are little tips that can help but most of all, if you or a partner are suffering with depression, please seek a professional medical practitioner.  There is nothing embarrassing about this state of mind, many people hit the same wall at some point in their life and you shouldn’t be ashamed of feeling this way.

Once you are on the right track with the correct course of treatment, you will find life becomes that little bit easier and your sex drive will flourish once again.

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