Monthly Archives: July 2015

Hugs are a good alternative!

I posted a silly status on my personal Facebook recently talking about ‘Hug Tension’. I had experienced it with somebody at that time. I recently started a new casual hours job with a small company and at the end of my shifts I always feel like I should hug my boss, but think ‘no, she’s my new boss’ so I don’t, and I say goodbye and feel a bit weird about life for 5 minutes.

The other day I decided to go for it and give her a hug and she hugged back! I said something like ‘I’m a hugger, and have decided to hug you’ and she said that she was a hugger too… and that’s when I realised that there had been hug tension between us for the shifts leading up to that! So my little message on Facebook was basically ‘if you are a hugger and notice a tension with somebody when you say goodbye, it probably means they want to hug you back, so just hug them!’ and it provoked quite a few comments!

One friend told me that his work now has a policy that they must hug somebody when they spot that they are stressed – how brave a policy is that! But I totally support it too! It reminded me of a Greys Anatomy episode that I had watched. There was a surgeon there for a while who had Asperger’s and got quite distressed at something at one point and asked the two other doctors to hug her. They were confused because this surgeon wasn’t great at social interaction and definitely not with physical touch. The surgeon then explained that hugging relieves tension by ‘blah blah blah something biological attached to bits to do with your body’ So I thought I would do a quick Google and find out properly!

I found out that hugging increases the level of oxytocin….a hormone you are maybe familiar with? This is the same hormone that increases when you are masturbating! The love hormone!

I also learned that it reduces blood pressure and heart rate, so is able to reduce your stress level. How amazing. Here is the whole article – http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2014/02/06/hugging.aspx

Here is a list of other things that hugging does:

It reduces the worry of immortality It stimulates dopamine, which is that ‘feel good’ feeling It stimulates Serotonin (when serotonin is absent, this is when you can feel lonely or depressed) Well-hugged babies are less stressed as adults Hugging balances out the nervous system It also enhances the immune system.

See http://www.sott.net/article/291786-The-physiological-benefits-of-hugging for the whole story.

The effects of hugging has quite a few similarities to the effects of masturbating, so I would like to ask you to invite more hugs into your life generally, and if you are just too busy to get a sneaky fiddle in, a few hugs could work instead!

 

Hug

 

You* must go to L Fest next year!

*There is an asterisk with this – ‘you’ in this instance means any women who identify as being in the queer spectrum OR anyone who loves being around these types of women!

On Sunday my wife and I went to L Fest at Uttoxeter racecourse. It is something I have wanted to go to for yeeeeaaarrsss and something that I don’t think the wife hadn’t heard of before (she calls herself a bad lesbian, which isn’t all true!) Due to having other commitments over the weekend, we could only do a day visit on the Sunday, which meant we spent as much time travelling there and back as we did actually being there! We went because I wanted to get an idea of what it was like, so had a better idea of whether it was going to be a good place to trade at next year. WE BLOODY LOVED IT!

L Fest first started in 2011…I thought it was earlier than that because it feels like I have been missing out on it for longer than that! It is a music, comedy and arts festival which spans over the course of 3 days and 3 nights and pretty much everyone camps or glamps there. They have different venues within the area and have a whole creative area too (wife made a dream catcher!) with a cinema then there is live music in another tent and workshops in another and then another building houses all things art-associated, including talks.

When we arrived there, it immediately felt like the most perfect lesbian haven! There was an atmosphere of happiness and contentment and…comfortability. Funny word, but that is what it was like. The festival welcomes families and pets…my there were a lot of dogs…and puts it in a good sized area within the racecourse. It isn’t so big that it is overwhelming, it is easy to get around but isn’t so small that you don’t have anywhere else to go. The activities, workshops and performances are abundant – enough to keep you busy…and everyone is so chilled and friendly!!

I bumped into a couple of the traders that I had met at Gloucester Pride back in June, who were trading up at L Fest – one of which had chosen to trade through me telling them about it, was lovely to see them there :-) We chatted about their experiences there as traders and I learned what to do and what not to do, very handy! They seemed really HAPPY too! I want to give them a shout out – firstly there is:

The Honey Pot  (Helen and Rachel) – it is all handmade jewellery at amazing prices, I bought some lovely purple earrings for only £3.50! Here is their website – www.thehoneypotgifts.com They will be trading at Pride Cymru on August the 15th too and staying with us so that they can (maybe possibly) get drunk!

The other business is Slamsister Designs – some great lesbian-focussed cards designed by lesbians for lesbians. Emma designs the cards whilst Sandy works on the PR side. These are unique cards and they have a great array to choose from – so much better than the one or two ‘token gay cards’ you will find in any supermarket or most card shops. Here is their website –www.slamsisterdesigns.com

I also had a really great chat with the amazing Naomi – an old friend – who runs Ultimate Planet with her wife Katie – it started as Planet London, listing all current events for gay women in London, but is now growing further to cover more of the UK. I am going to be writing some content for them soon, which is a very exciting thing to be a part of! There may be a Planet Cardiff coming up soon too if we collaborate correctly :-) She showed me the teaser trailer for ‘She’s In London’ which will be the first UK Lesbian webseries! Here is their website – www.ultimate-planet.com

The amazing Kinky Monkey were there too (who gave me my amazing prize that I won at the Erotic Trade Show a few weeks ago!) Kinky Monkey make the amazing leather harnesses that I sell, I love working with them!

So along with the catching up and chatting, I also took part in a lesbian arm wrestling contest and I lost my round :-( I used to be awesome at arm wrestling! The first thing we did when we got there was go to the Sex Academy that Diva were hosting and I shall write about that in a separate blog post after I have finished this! We popped our heads in to see some great music performances, including a string band that were playing string versions of some popular music, I also met an erotic reader who was having a sexy pyjama party later on that evening…gutted I missed out on that!

I still need to decide on whether I want to go there next year as a punter or a trader, or to maybe do some workshops, but I will definitely be there and I extend my hand to all of you queer ladies out there who want to join me! As I have been writing this post I have been listening to an interview with the festival organiser Cindy Edwards and I have fallen even more in love with this organisation – please take the time to watch this and see how amazing this woman is.

They have a party in December and a festival over in Spain too!

My next blog will be out soon about the sex academy hosted by Diva.

Rhiannon xx

 

I’m going to be trading at a few places over the Summer, visit me!

Well, ’tis the season of festivals and I shall be at some of them!
I have already attended Gloucestershire Pride but here are the other exciting places I will be at over the next 2 and a bit months:

15th of August – Pride Cymru – Coopers Field, Cardiff

22nd & 23rd of August – Sexhibition – Event City, Manchester

12th of September – Alternative and Burlesque Fair – The Institute, Birmingham

18th of September – Glitzy Ladies’ Shopping, Psychic and Pamper Fair – The Twelve Knights, Port Talbot

27th of September – Vanity Fayre – Portland House, Cardiff Bay

3rd of October – Alternative and Burlesque Fair – Bristol Bierkellar

I have been attending Pride Cymru/Cardiff Pride for years, ever since it started, and it is going to be quite special for me to trade there for the first time! I am looking forward to introducing myself to the LGBT community that I haven’t connected with yet and establishing myself as the place for lesbians to get their fun and advice from. It is the first time in quite a while that Pride Cymru are allowing us sex toy traders in, so I am glad to be a part of those testing it out. We will be in a separate indoor area where only 18+ people can attend, so no embarrassed parents or curious children can get to the dildos!

Sexhibition is a new event which quickly turned from a one day thing into a whole weekend thing. It is an honour to be a part of the premiere of the event and to be in a place were all things sex-related are under one roof. There will be workshops, speakers and performers and many traders, including myself. If you’re in Manchester, I would encourage you to visit this. Even if you’re not on the ‘scene’ or not necessarily kinky, open your mind and visit – the people at this kind of event are all very happy and open minded, and very welcoming!

Glitzy was my first ever event I attended as a trader and is run by a lovely lady who support what this business does. I look forward to trading in a different are with them in September.

Vanity Fair is all about raising money for the charity Mind and will include live performances, a fashion show, beauty-associated bits and bobs and many traders – looking forward to trading in a Grade II listed gorgeous building!

I have traded at a couple of the A&B Fairs already but am yet to do Birmingham, which is exciting! I am also looking forward to going to the next and more local one to me in Bristol :-)

So if you can’t organise a soiree, but want to shop in person with me, consider attending one of these events xx

2015-06-13 17.24.10

Continued post from my last post

Well, so much for me writing the second part of my post over the weekend!

So to continue from my last post

My lady Rock Chick came from Swindon with 3 other businesswomen and on their way home from the event the broke down…in the middle of the night. They had to wait quite a while to get ‘rescued’ and decided to discuss their businesses and their business skills. One of these women was a Kinesiologist. For those that don’t know what a Kinesiologist is, it is a person that is able to detect what type of food allergies or intolerances you have, or potentially health ailments too. They do it through testing your strength when you are around the food that may be bad for you. I am sure there is more to it than that but this is the basics of it!

This groups of women is awesome and I love being around them, one of them suggested that The Kinesiologist ‘did some kinesiology’ on Ms Rock Chick to see if her and the toy were suited to each other. She had, funnily enough, never done this before so gave it a go. The results were that she would have a good time with the Rock Chick! I have been in touch with Ms Rock Chick since but I haven’t found out if it worked!

So isn’t that pretty cool – to try out kinesiology on a sex toy! It’s something I may need to look into a bit, because this is even more niche than what I am doing now!

She has since expressed an interest in being That’s The Spot’s ‘face of the slightly older woman’ so you could actually find out at some point who this woman is! So watch this space! Remember you can sign up to my mailing list OR subscribe to my blog. The subscribe button for the blog is to the right of this post, and to sign up to the mailing list, sign up here:

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I look forward to keeping you all up to date with everything!

 

Rhi xx

I found one of my favourite customers this week!

This isn’t a blog to brag  about it but I would like this important post to serve as a reminder to what the ethos of That’s The Spot is.

As you may have seen on my social media, I am now officially a published author! It was the book launch on Wednesday and some of us authors brought along the things that we sold, including me. A couple of my fellow business members had brought a friend along who was interested in looking at what I had. She was very quick to buy the Rock Chick!

She wasn’t afraid of being seen buying it, she asked me the right questions, and as a result of this, it encouraged another businesswoman to buy a toy from me too – she was in a space in which we were talking openly about sexual pleasure and she felt safe and supported in the decision she made in buying a vibrator. I sensed that this was a big move for her, although I may be wrong.  This was in the space of 5 minutes – everyone was relaxed about it and it wasn’t treated as dirty or embarrassing in the slightest.

This Rock Chick woman is the kind of person I want every woman to be able to be – uninhibited, confident in their sexuality, not repressed or ashamed in any way. My company is exactly about this – helping women reclaim their body and their sexual power – and I have found a woman who exemplifies this perfectly. What made this even more special is that she is a bit ‘older’ (only a bit!) and in that age bracket of women who may have been brought up to think that masturbation was wrong.

 

It doesn’t stop there though – when we were at our meeting, and being a women’s business club, some of us were asked to show everyone our handbags (I didn’t show my rucksack!). Lo and behold, my no.1 lady stands up, shows her bag and it’s content and very nonchalantly pulls our her new vibrator – to a room of 60 women – and tells us that is her newest purchase, how AMAZING! Everyone roared with laughter, but I wonder how many of the other women would have had the confidence to be able to do what she had done. This lady is bringing it out of the bedroom and normalising it – which is EXACTLY what That’s The Spot is doing! My mantra is that knowledge is power and with more power we are enlightened and liberated!

There is more to this story, as it gets better and better! I shall write the rest of it this weekend, but to those that think they are ‘too old’ to enjoy vibrators or those that don’t want to entertain the thought of talking out loud about their body and their sex life, I urge you to reconsider this. This woman was vibrant, happy and a joy to be around – I am not saying that it is all down to her confidence in showing a vibrator to 60 women, but there’s a lot to be said about being open and honest and not worrying so much about what other people think.

This lady helped inspire 4 other women to come to me after the meeting – one has never owned a vibrator before, but she does now! Another found the confidence to tell me that she was ready to have a proper chat with me about her sex life. During the meeting, I had another member ask me to show her some of my toys, and of course there was the other lady I spoke about earlier.

I want this to inspire confidence in you to come to me and take that step into the unknown, explore this world and be happier as a result of it!

I shall publish the other part of this blog this weekend, but for now, don’t be afraid – get in touch with me – rhiannon@thatsthespot.co.uk and we can chat or organise a sex toy soiree for women over the age of 50 x