Monthly Archives: February 2015

The Invention of the Vibrator!

My Ignite talk got published today!

As I said in my reflective blog about it, the time went much faster than I expected and one thing I wasn’t able to mention was the inventor of the vibrator, so I thought I’d mention it now!

During the Victorian times, doctors believed they could cure ‘hysteria’ by bringing women to an ‘hysterical paroxysm’ (orgasm) So doctors would physically do this, with their fingers! Back then, masturbation was discouraged, especially with women, so there was the common belief that women couldn’t orgasm and had no sexual desire.

Dr Joseph Mortimer Granville is famed for inventing the first electrical vibrator.  According to it wasn’t invented to induce orgasms, but rather to help relieve muscle aches that a lot of physicians spent a lot of time ‘wrist deep’ in women’s vaginas trying to bring them to ‘hysterical paroxysm’ and this caused some aches for the poor men.

Here is health









The general understanding is that this machine was used by the doctors on the female patients so prevent these aches and pains in the doctors. It was quicker and efficient in bringing women to the paroxysm needed too! This was purely for medical use though, never pleasure.

According to the Guardian Dr Mortimer patented this invention in 1880 – a decade before the electric iron and vacuum cleaner!










A lot of other vibrator ‘attempts’ did exist before this though –

The ‘Tremoussoir’ was invented in France in 1734!

In 1869 American Physician called George Taylor invented the first steam powered vibrator with the same agenda that Dr Mortimer had, but all of these attempts didn’t last long because they were big machines, cumbersome, and often didn’t have enough juice in them to always get the job done. A French pelvic douche appeared in the 1860s, which fired a jet of water at the clitoris and was claimed to induce paroxysm within four minutes.








It was in 1880 that it became electric and much more efficient! There were only 5 electrical devices in existence at this point, including the sewing machine, the fan, the kettle and the toaster!

Between 1902 and the late 1920’s, these devices were sold by all types of retailers in many different guises and everyone played the same game – it was never a pleasure toy, it was a ‘massager’ aimed at relieving stress only. It was featured in the Woman’s Home Companion, Needlecraft, and  the Sears, Roebuck catalogue amongst others. Towards the end of the 20’s, when TV started being made, which brought porn to the screens too – and these ‘massagers’ were being used in them…this completely took away all pretences and vibrators disappeared from the limelight!

electricnormaliser Horse Ride stopthatpain













Advertisements disappeared until the 70’s and vibrators were really hard to find (I almost wrote ‘hard to come by’ but couldn’t bring myself to!)  It was in 1968 that the first cordless vibrator was patented and along with the sexual revolution, started to come back into the public eye. This slowly grew and then ‘that’ episode of Sex in The City happened and since then, they have become much more mainstream!

If you would like to read more, this article is a good one –

in 2011 a film called ‘Hysteria’ was released, focussed on Dr Joseph Granville Mortimer – it’s a good watch, I would recommend it!

My Review of the Fifty Shades of Grey Movie

Well, like the good sex toy consultant that I am, I made sure to watch the earliest screening of Fifty Shades of Grey movie today, so there I was at 1pm wondering how the next 2 hours would pan out!

I read the first part of the trilogy back when it came out but that was it. I didn’t feel the need to read the rest. I could understand why people were criticising it for the style of writing, it wasn’t the best piece of writing, but again, was E.L James an actual author? This all stemmed from some fan fiction she had been writing and even she was surprised by the reaction to her book. Despite the writing not being ‘perfect’, it didn’t stop me from turning the pages – she got me hooked on the book and I didn’t feel inclined to put it down, so she was definitely doing something right! I enjoyed reading it – I didn’t get all impassioned about it either way though, I didn’t feel the need to form an opinion on it. I enjoyed it but could see how others wouldn’t have liked it. The other uproar was about the BDSM aspect. I am not massively active in this community nowadays but I know how consensual BDSM works and people go about this in different ways. Yes it could have been misogynistic and the fact that he had a rubbish childhood made the subject more ‘discussable’.

The best thing that I believe came out of this was opening a lot of people’s worlds and giving people the chance and the platform to talk about sex and sex toys too. No matter what your opinion on the book, you can’t help but thank it for getting more people to talk about sex in more of a serious way, and to experiment a bit more.

So I watched the film, and I tell you what – well done them! Well-balanced is the word I would use to describe it. It showed the right amount of sex, the right kind of sex. It also gave us a balanced representation of both characters – as the book is written in first person, it is a bit one sided, but watching it as a film helped us form better opinions on both characters. I feel that the main focus was on the relationship between the two characters, and that was worth watching it for. The casting was brilliant – Jamie Dornan got that balance between intensity and vulnerability spot on. Dakota Johnson played the quiet, geeky Anastasia Steele pretty well and it was great to see her character’s journey too from innocent(ish) virgin to a liberated woman who made sure she spoke her mind, and the irony about it is that she became more assertive when she was experiencing more submission! I liked that.

There was a decent amount of nudity and was a good amount of raunch for an 18 certificate film too without it going into the soft porn domain. I also feel that the BDSM scenes they did show was quite sensitive to the practice of it. They made it clear to the audience too about safe words, etc.

I still don’t know whether it is misogyny or not. Remember that this is based on one woman’s fantasy and some women do fantasise about it I know plenty of male subs too though to female doms – there doesn’t seem to be much criticism on that aspect of life. I suppose this film could be to abusive husbands as violent video games can be to kids with violent tendencies so I can understand why some people are not happy with this franchise.

My summary is that I was pleasantly surprised and is worth a watch. There were only about 10 people in the audience (it was 1pm!) and I think I preferred it that way – the sex scenes did get me a bit hot under the collar and the idea of sitting in a sold out showing, being next to, behind and in front of women and men that could get a little turned on from the film would probably be a bit awkward! So I hope those who watch it enjoy it.

Don’t forget that I have the whole official collection of Fifty Shades on sale on my website so check out



Spanking Ruler

Spanking Ruler

Beginners Bondage Kit

Beginners Bondage Kit

Massage Cande

Massage Cande

Now is the best time to chat with me

It is by honest coincidence that I am writing this post pretty much exactly a year into the beginning of my ‘business adventure’!

It is this time last year that I finished working at my stable full time job and went into a part time job and started educating myself on how to start a business. To know more about my journey, read my first blog I posted back in August.

We launched my website on September the 12th and the last five months since then have been harder than I ever thought they would be. I’ve never seen myself as an entrepeneur. I am not out to make loads of money. I don’t come from a family that has owned their own businesses either. Because of this, I have learned a helluva lot of new things over the last year and even more so in the last five months. The reason I started this company up is because I have passion, drive, the right experience and  the right skills to provide advice on sex, masturbation and what toys to use and people are comfortable talking to me. I also want to leave a legacy! Everything else one needs to do and know whilst running a business is what I either learned whilst preparing, or what I am learning as I go.

What I do know, though, is that the service I provide is unique, backed by experience, available to a lot of people who haven’t had this opportunity before and is really special. Those that have booked me in for soirees and consultations have had great experiences and the results are everything I hoped for. This business is such a new concept though – taking sex toys seriously isn’t something a lot of people are familiar with. I am therefore really thankful to those that have given me the chance to promote myself, like City Life mag for doing a 2 page editorial on me, my I am Woman business club for letting me bring my stock to the meetings to sell. The more I do this, the more comfortable the business club members are getting with the concept, which is great to see. My other club, Damsels in Success, welcomed me with open arms. Ignite Cardiff also allowed me a 5 minute slot to talk about masturbation. Pinkfire events allowed me to sell at their Glitzy Christmas markets. These platforms are helping me get the word out that a business like this does exist and they enhance a woman’s sex life no matter what their status is.

Although I am only halfway through my first year, I have already started wondering whether That’s The Spot will be successful and whether my concept was too ‘micro-niche’ (from my reading of many business books, mags and attending many different talks, in order to succeed nowadays, you need to do better than be in a niche, you need to be in a micro-niche) or whether Cardiff was ready for it, but then something lovely happened yesterday!

I subscribe to the Erotic Trade Only magazine which is the industry mag for those in the ‘pleasure’ industry and I found myself on their ‘Webwatch’ section this month (they choose one website each month) and they wrote the following about me:

“The great thing about the internet is the whole world is potentially your customer. Unfortunately it’s also your competitor’s customer too, and bucketloads of cash has ben squandered over the last decade by companies entering the market with the bold intention of being ‘bigger than Lovehoney’. The ETO office takes calls every month from prospective start-ups and our advice is always the same – if you can’t do anything better than or different to the existing players then your time and money could be put to better use in an alternative industry.

Way back in 2003 we published a piece suggesting one way internet stores could differentiate themselves from their competition was not to think global but to think local with their marketing efforts and this month we were delighted to come across, a Cardiff-based business set up by a former Sh! Duty Manager that offers a sex toy consulting service in South Wales.

In a nutshell, customers get in touch ans explain their needs and the site owner visits the client’s premises with a selection of goods and runs through their functions. It’s like the middle ground between a detailed in-store demonstration and a party plan evening, but with out the distractions of the former and the saucy games and gossip of the latter. There is a small charge for the service, so customers won’t feel obliged to make a purchase – and even if they don’t, the business has at least recouped its costs.

That’s The Spot offers the same service to groups under the banner of Sex Toy Soirees, and also sells goods online in the traditional way.

The site itself is easy on the eye and a joy to use – it certainly hits our spot.”

Not only has this reinforced what I have been working on for the last few months, but they barely bothered talking about my actual website because they were so impressed by the concept! With this write-up coming from these people, it has confirmed that despite the slow start, I do have a good idea and in a couple of years people will be paying good money to receive the advice I am giving nowadays for either free or next to nothing! The reason I write this is because I want those to have been considering soirees and consultations to bite the bullet and do it! Read through the testimonials on my website if you need more convincing. Yesterday I uttered the words ‘If I did a soiree for every time somebody said they wanted a soiree from That’s The Spot, my business would be in a different place’! I know that it will get to a point where I will charge for the soirees rather than offer the hostess 20% off so now is the time to book me in! And as for consultations, it is only £10 or £20 for an hour in my company, this price will rise!

Email me – and we can get a date in the diary – there is only one of me and there are only so many weekends in the year, so take a deep breath and email me and you will not regret it!


I look forward to hearing from you all.


Oh, you know that I mentioned that microniche thing? Remember that on Sunday (Feb 8th) I am hosting a Lesbian Valentines Market at Wow Bar in Cardiff from 12-6! I will be there with 4 other stallholders selling goods in a space where women with female partners feel comfortable shopping with no judgement. There will also be a free prize draw! Pop your head in and say hi!